How we got here

So, we know it’s been a long, strange trip for us, and before we go forward we should probably go back and recap, since with this blog we may be picking up some new readers.  For those of followed us from elsewhere, this post may look familiar, but it has been updated.  Keep in mind that 6 months ago we never imagined being here, yet in the last 4 months I have had sex with 6 other women and she has had sex with 3 women and 3 other men!

Our Blogs:
Last November Veronica discovered the blogosphere. She started her own blog and got serious about it in March and began regularly posting. Events in our lives caused the blog to take a naughtier turn in July.  I occasionally joined her as a co-author on posts and I discovered that I liked blogging so I started my own in early September, which also pretty much ended our joint posts. We also created ‘The Flip Side’, an invite-only blog where we could feel free to express our naughtier side and at the same time we cleaned up the content of our primary blogs.  Managing and segregating the content among 3 blogs got to be too much, so The Flip Side is going away, as it the old Hubman’s Hangout, in favor of this blog.

Our Involvement in the Lifestyle:
This is a bit more of an involved explanation. Veronica and I met in college, and got married three months after she graduated. She was my one and only, but I was not her first. We have a very happy marriage with a robust sex life. At times the topic would come up about her being my one and only and I would always say that if I went the rest of my life and was with only her, that would be fine.  Outwardly she seemed to believe me, but I sensed that her inner voice would cough ‘bullshit’ whenever I told her that.

Last fall we started to get into role play, which was fun as Veronica would morph into a ditzy college cheerleader, porn producer, or a MILF auditioning for a role in an ‘amateur’ porn film. Life was good.  Until…

I cheated on Veronica with an escort. I got a blowjob and tit-fucked her, but declined to have intercourse with her. Then I got caught.

Veronica: I had a nagging suspicion that something was up, and I checked his email account and found the proof.

If you want a lesson in how to get caught, ask me!  I cheat once, once! in 18 yrs together and manage to get caught, proving that I’m a fuckin’ idiot.  And I don’t mean to belittle what I did to Veronica, I’m just illustrating my stupidity.

Veronica: I was devastated. After mulling the best course of action in my head and speaking to some blog friends, I confronted him. He told me what happened, apologized profusely and we agreed that we had too much love for each other and too much of a life together to throw everything away on one stupid mistake.

Before she even caught me I felt terrible about the whole thing. I left the hotel feeling like a scumbag and immediately regretting what I did. But, I was not going to confess. What would that accomplish? But when confronted with undeniable evidence (her quoting an e-mail from me to the escort), I came clean with everything. For us it was the only way to move forward.

Veronica: We had a frank talk about our desires. It was actually one of the best talks we ever had. I talked about my desire to sleep with another woman, and he of course had the same desire. Not because I am not good in bed, or he didn’t love me or was bored, but because he was curious. So I thought that I would post a profile on Adult Friend Finder and find a woman for me and a woman for us. Simple right? Hah! Looking back now I laugh at our naivete. I thought well, I am an attractive, intelligent, fun woman so this can’t be too hard. And again I say HAH!!

Using AFF she met lots of women; beautiful, sexy, intelligent, funny women. They would talk on the phone and exchange naughty pictures and video, but the second she would try to set up a meeting a meeting that they wanted, POOF! They would disappear into cyberspace.

So we learned that finding a single, bisexual woman who would sleep with both of us was going to be very difficult. Trying to find a single, bisexual woman who was also relatively sane, reasonably attractive, and a non-smoker? It would be easier to pick the next Microsoft stock!

Frustrated with the search for a woman on AFF and Craigslist, I broached swinging, thinking that at one of the parties we could find our girl. After researching the lifestyle and reading “The Ethical Slut” (she’s a geek, I know…) Veronica agreed to give it a try, but with the understanding that she would not be getting involved with any men.

We contacted a group, gave them the requested info for membership and indicated to them that we were interested in attending their next party. Veronica was actively sweating out the time until we heard back from them, as the couple only wanted height/weight proportionate couples, and she was worried that she would get rejected for being too fat. (Silly girl, I know!).  She was assuming that all of the couples were going to look like bikini models.  We would learn otherwise, but that’s getting a bit ahead of ourselves!

We get accepted by the group and went to the party, both nervous. The last time I think we honestly felt such trepidation was when we walked into the hospital when Veronica was in labor with DB, knowing that when we left that building in a few days, our lives would change in ways we could barely imagine.

When we got to the party, we were initially dismayed to see that we were the most attractive couple there (sorry if that sounds conceited, but hey, if you were there…).  Veronica and I did one of our many gut checks and she told me that she didn’t see any ladies she liked.  I concurred, but we decided to stay awhile anyway.

Another group of couples came in and we started chatting with them, and eventually we got naked and while Veronica did not get involved with anyone but me, we found that we enjoyed the people and the casualness of the setting.

We learned that finding a woman to play with just us at a lifestyle party was probably not going to happen either. The bulk of people at these parties are couples, and any single woman there can literally pick and choose among her companions.  After attending 4 of these parties now, I still haven’t seen a single woman at one.

At the party we met B&K. Now before we went to the party, Veronica had mentioned that she might want to have oral sex with a guy there, but no intercourse. No way, not going to happen, never, ever, ever, ever. Then she met B, and while getting to know him, she was hit with an emotion that had lain dormant for nearly two decades. Desire. For a man who was not me!  She said it hit her like the proverbial bolt of lightning. We were glad when we left the party that night so we could process our thoughts.

This is a direct quote from my very first e-mail to SwingerWife, soliciting her advice before we attended this gathering: “We’re actually not looking to swap, as Veronica is NOT interested in fucking another man, though she has hinted at wanting to suck another man’s cock if she is so inspired. I actually wouldn’t mind if she fucked another man, but that does not appeal to her, which is fine with me. What we hope to do is find either a couple where the woman play with each other and their own spouses, or a single woman to join the 2 of us.  Veronica does not have a problem with me having sex with another woman, as long as she is not left on the sidelines.” My, how things change…

The next day, Veronica and I had a long talk about her change of heart. I was fine about her wanting to swap with B, as it meant that I might be able to have sex with B’s wife K, who I found very attractive!

We started a profile on a lifestyle website. We sent the hosts of the party a thank you note and asked them if they could forward our contact information to B&K.

Apparently B&K were happy to hear from us and a date was set for the following weekend. And yes, we swapped with them, officially becoming swingers…

And around the same time, things really progressed with SwingerWife and her husband.  Visit her blog to read ALL about our weekend together!

So where are we now?  We’ve swapped with some other couples, had several very exciting 3somes and are still looking for a local couple that we can swap with on a semi-regular basis.  Stay tuned for further adventures…

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