Am I cut out to be a swinger?  Am I comfortable having sex in public, with Veronica or any other person?

I’ve been having these thoughts as long as Veronica and I have been in the lifestyle.  Which is only about 8 or 9 months, but still, the thoughts are there, and every time I feel like I’m getting past them or found some rationalization, I have, umm, performance issues again.  I have frequently found myself having trouble having or maintaining an erection.

Our first hotel party, Veronica spent 1o minutes on her knees blowing me and I never even got hard.  I chalked it up to newbie nerves and the 6 or 8 other people in the room who might have been watching.  We found a private room with no one else around and all was good.  The next weekend we have our first swap and while I did get erect and fuck K, my erection came and went several times and I was more than a little embarrassed.  Again, I blamed nerves, since it was our first swap and Veronica was in the other room with K’s very good looking and extremely well hung husband, plus K and I just had different styles, so that could also have been part of it.

By this time our rendezvous with SwingerWife and her husband was already planned, so I was getting nervous about the pressure I was putting on myself.  So Veronica gave her OK for me to hook up with a stripper who was interested in me.  Long story made short, I fucked her in the club on a Wednesday afternoon and came in no time flat.  Absolutely no issues whatsoever.  Good, I really can enjoy myself with another woman!

A few weeks later we saw SW and SH.  Rather than recount that, if you want you can go to her blog and read her posts about it.  Does anyone notice what is missing, though?  I came only once all weekend.  Four different sex sessions, multiple switches back and forth between Veronica and SW and the only time I came was when SW and I were alone in a separate room from SH and Veronica.  So now I’m back to thinking that I have trouble with being watched, or at least being naked and having an orgasm while another man is there.

In the coming months we have 3somes with 4 different women and there are no problems.  But with Ned and Ann, you guessed it, I had trouble staying hard and couldn’t cum with her.  This time I blame that while she is smokin’ hot, she is the worst lay ever.  So maybe that one doesn’t count.

Things start looking up with Max and Irma.  I have no trouble getting hard with her, she and I are having a fine old time, but poor Max is the one having trouble getting hard.  Rather than continue to fuck his wife while he can’t even get it up, I stopped.  Seriously, I think it would have been rude of me to continue while he was clearly uncomfortable.  So while I’m encouraged some doubt remains.

We go to a party a month later and for the first time Veronica and I have sex with others, in front of more others.  Woohoo!  While I had a little condom-related issue [not my preferred brand] and didn’t cum with her, I was very happy with my performance.  But keep in mind, to this point I have yet to have an orgasm with someone besides Veronica in a 4some situation.  Sure, there are excuses plausible explanations for each instance, but the male psyche can be a fragile thing and it’s continuing to bother me.

Fast-forward to last month and Dina and Derek.  I had some issues, which I blamed on condoms and Dina claimed to understand [I have my doubts about that], so I finished with Veronica and cuming in her mouth.  Progress!  My first orgasm during a 4some!  Sure, it wasn’t with the other woman, but I’m looking on the bright side here.

Which brings us to the party we went to last weekend at Rob and Bonnie’s house.  And here I go, back to square one.  As I wrote here, I had performance issues again, this time with Veronica and in a ‘being watched’ situation, but after the ‘progress’ I’ve made it still bothers me.  One of my regular readers commented privately to me, about my indecision about being just another notch in a woman’s proverbial bedpost that

I mean, perhaps you don’t stare at the cock sizes of men at these things, but don’t you realize how small of a pool you’re in with your size? of COURSE she wants to fuck you! Most there are likely average size! lol.  Hey, wouldn’t it be a nice ego stroke to know you were the most memorable she had all night and you ruined her for the other 2?

While I’m flattered by her words and her opinion of my man-bits, the fact remains that I was feeling very inadequate as a lover with some of these other women.  It’s not as simple as having what some might consider a larger than average cock to give a man confidence.  And out of fear of causing worry with future lovers, I didn’t want to write about it.

It’s no secret that Veronica and I had a date last night with another blogger couple who are also swingers.  We had a great first date a few weeks ago and there was no doubt in our minds that we were going to be getting nekkid last night.  I know they read my blog on a daily basis and was hesitant to write this post all week long.  She is an extremely desirable woman and I had high hopes that I could put my issues aside.

I don’t know what was different, but last night was spectacular!!!

Red Rider’s wife is a fantastic lover and I had a great orgasm deep inside her gorgeous pussy while Veronica and Red watched us.  Woohoo!!

Oh, and Veronica says that Red is pretty damn good too

BTW, Red, we need a name for Mrs. Red on our blogs. Or perhaps she’d like to suggest something?

Yes, dear readers, I’m teasing you.  You’re going to have to wait for another day to hear about last night