Swing Shift Volume 17- Threesomes, from 3 Perspectives

Last week we wrote about Boundaries and Issues, which was suggested to us by Britni in response to a request I posted on Twitter.  Emmy also replied to that request with a suggestion of her own:

Talk about perfect timing, since our friend Southern Vixen was visiting this weekend as a surprise for Veronica’s birthday!  And since Veronica and I have had 3somes with 4 different women over the course of the last year [yes, I'm very lucky, Veronica reminds me daily, you don't need to as well!], we’d like to think we’ve learned a few things about having a “successful” 3some.

With Southern Vixen here and considering the topic, this week’s post will be in 3 parts- my perspective on FMF 3somes, as the male half of a couple, Veronica’s perspective as the female half of the couple, plus Southern Vixen’s perspective as the 3rd person joining the party and as a “unicorn” in the lifestyle.

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The first time we ever had a 3some, I messed up.  The fact that is was a friend was part of the problem, because it’s someone we care about and still consider a good friend to this day.  Because of the nature of our relationship, Veronica felt like she was watching us make love instead of just fucking/having sex.  Notice I said that Veronica was watching us.  Not because she found it hot to watch us, but because our friend and I neglected to include her in the action.  And perhaps partly because our friend was bi-curious, with no experience, Veronica was hesitant to join in and touch her.

We learned two lessons from this first experience- both of us need to make an conscious effort to ensure that we’re both involved/not feeling neglected and we only play with bi- or bi-curious women.

Both of us being involved doesn’t necessarily mean there is intimate contact between all 3 of us simultaneously.  Personally, sometimes I love just sitting back and watching Veronica with another woman.  And sometimes Veronica likes to watch as well.  But even when she’s watching, there are little things I can do or say to keep her involved.  A simple touch of my hand to her face and stroking her cheek, leaning over to kiss her, whispering “I love you” in her ear, I try to do those little things to show that while I’m greatly enjoying fucking our friend, she’s still my one and only love.

The bi- or bi-curious women rule is based on a simple reality- I have no fuckin’ clue how to satisfy 2 women at once!!  I don’t think I could do it.  Either there is always one woman who is left watching or my abilities improve significantly!

Veronica:  I am sure some of you are reading this and thinking “I want to know how to get to the naked threesome fun in the 1st place!”  Since we have no MFM experience, and based on what I see on the lifestyle websites, finding a single man to join in is not a big problem.  Finding a single woman however is difficult.  Add in attractive, reasonably sane and a non-smoker, you really raise the bar.  Let’s just say that these women are called ‘Unicorns’ for a reason.   If you are looking on the lifestyle websites, there are some single women but if they will be contacted by dozens of people a day.  If you see one of them and they intrigue you, then you should send them a very well crafted e-mail.  This is when you really take your time to carefully respond.  If you do get contacted by one of these women then they need to be at the top of your response list and given close and careful attention or you might quickly lose your chance.

Southern Vixen: Yeah.  This part is true.  While I, by no means, find myself being contacted by boat-loads of couples/women/men, I do have a few to fish through.  This is not because I’m so fucking amazing that everyone wants to be with me – it is simply because I’m a single woman in the lifestyle and I’m not a complete hag.  I completely agree that your first introduction to a “unicorn” should be polite, not filthy and most certainly, not littered with “do you like big cocks?”  C’mon.  Are you serious?

Veronica: Once you have the woman there, you have to brace yourself for the fact that your man might pay more attention to the new girl than you, because she is in fact, new and different.  You need to discuss boundaries and such before the get-together. (SouthernVixen: I like to be sensitive to this situation.  I prefer to enjoy the woman first, before involving the man.  99% of the time, grabbing the woman and “getting to know her” is not something I have to force.  I like the things a woman brings to the bedroom.)   If you are bi-curious and inexperienced with women, discuss what you plan to do if you realize in the middle of things that you do not like girl-on-girl sex.  Also try to imagine how you will deal with the scenario of having sex with a woman who ends up not enjoying sex with you.

Usually if Hubman and I are having sex with someone who is not adverse to pictures, each of the members of the threesome may take breaks to get a few pictures of the action.  (Heck, when I’m 90 and in the nursing home, I want some pictures of what my ass looked like back then.)

If this was the other person’s 1st 3some, check up with them in the next day to make sure that they are still good with everything.  Also, make sure you chat with your primary partner afterward to make sure that everything is good between you.  It always helps to remind your primary partner that they are the most important person to you, no matter how hot the sex with the other person was.

Southern Vixen: Threesomes can be, logistically, interesting at times.  But once you get used to the flow (and it will be different from threesome to threesome) taking pictures or sitting back and masturbating work beautifully.  I always keep a hand on one of my lovers, at all times.  This keeps me connected to the couple.  I LOVE to watch the interaction between a couple.  It turns me on and sometimes, that’s what I want to watch.  Sometimes I want to get fucked really hard while I eat the other woman’s pussy.  There is no perfect way to make it work.  You just have to have really good communication (before, during and after your session) and make sure all parties are “on board.”  Having a kick-ass relationship with the couple (or other two people) doesn’t hurt either!

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As always, reader comments and questions are welcome.  Have you been involved in a 3some? Were you the third party or as part of a couple? Did you have good or bad experience, why or why not?  How about MFM 3somes? We have no experience with those and would like to hear your thoughts about what makes a “good” MFM 3some for you, men and women alike.  If you’d prefer to remain anonymous, just e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com.

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