Swing Shift Volume 27- Backed into a Corner

No reader-suggested question or topic this week, this one comes from our own (mis)-adventures!

About a month ago we had a first date with a couple that had contacted us through Swappernet.  When we initially checked out their profile, I was kinda indifferent towards her.  It’s not that she was unattractive to me, it’s just that there was no spark, no “ohhhh, I’d like to get to know her!”  But that was based solely on a few pictures [hey, some people don't photograph well] and their written profile, and Veronica liked him, so after a few chats and a phone call between the ladies we set up the first date.

Veronica: I thought their profile was very humorous and she was a pretty blonde with a curvy figure.  It was enough to want a meeting.  Her texts were amusing and she gave good phone.

We arrived at the brew pub a few minutes after they did and meet them at the bar.  My initial reaction “this might be a code phrase date” as I immediately thought that her profile pictures were outdated because her appearance was considerably different from her profile pictures, and not in a good way.

For whatever dumb reason, not only didn’t I use the code phrase, but I totally acted like I was into her and even gave her a nice kiss goodnight.

Veronica: I had NO idea.  This was the date where I was recovering from a migraine and actually threw up in the bathroom during dinner.  After I came back from the bathroom did Hubman use the vomiting as an excuse to leave?  No!  We hung out longer and chatted with them & I let them feel me up in the parking lot.

At this point, I felt like I couldn’t back out, so I didn’t say anything to Veronica, even when it was time to arrange a second date.  I did tell her that while I wasn’t that physically attracted to her, she seemed like a nice enough person and that I would be interested in seeing them again.  Keep in mind, normally if we have a second date with a couple, that means we want to swap with them.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex with her.

Veronica: I also missed that.  I blame my getting sick and the last minute Christmas craziness on the miscommunication.

To be fair to Veronica, until this weekend I never shared these thoughts with her, so while her blaming the migraine is polite, it’s also unnecessary.  I failed to communicate how I was feeling.

A few days before our date, she texts Veronica to give us a heads up that she just got her period, but it should be gone in time for Saturday night.  Seemingly forgetting my lack of physical attraction to her, I go into optimist mode and think of how we could work around that, if need be.  A matter of hours before our date, she texts again to let us know that Aunt Flo has decided to hang around a little longer.  I text back to let her know not to worry about it, that I’m sure we can find a way to work around it.

What is wrong with me?

Honestly, I believe that I talked myself into thinking that I was more attracted to her than I really was.  Why, I don’t know.  [As I'm sitting in bed typing this, Veronica answered that question with "you wanted fresh pus-say".  She gets giddy when she's over-tired.  Thank you dear ]

We meet for dinner at a restaurant and spend a couple hours enjoying each others company. They are nice people and pleasant company, and while we enjoy the evening, there is still no physical spark for me.  But now I feel like I’ve backed myself into a corner and kinda resolve to take one for the team.  We return to our house and spend some time making small talk.  At one point I excuse myself to use the bathroom and Veronica gives them a little tour of the house.  While Veronica is showing them around our friend tells her that she’s not feeling too sexy, with Aunt Flo hanging around, and doesn’t want to play.

Relieved does not begin to describe how I felt!

Very soon after they left, I confided all of my thoughts and feeling about her to Veronica and she was completely understanding.  But what to do now?  It’s late in the game to go with the “we’re not feeling the chemistry” line, or maybe we could use the “we’re taking a break for a while” line.  While telling the truth, that I don’t find her attractive, is obviously an option, how to do that without being insulting?  It’s different that when we’re still strangers to someone online, look at their profile, and say “No thanks, we’re not interested”.

Veronica: I was surprised.  However, it is ok.  While I liked them I wasn’t feeling, “I must fuck them or I will die”.  I also do not believe in taking one for the team.  It is my opinion that it is harder for a guy to take one for the team than a girl, because I can always fake arousal and orgasm.  A man?  Not so much.

I am not worried.  Luckily for us their family babysitter is going on an extended vacation.  If they contact us again, I will concoct some excuse.   They were not rushing to get touchy-feely with us, so perhaps they were also not feeling the chemistry.

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So how’s this for a way to start the new year, huh?  Quite the situation I’ve created!  Please put yourself in my shoes, tell me what you would do under the circumstances.  Do we go with a white lie or find a way to gently tell the truth?

Assuming I don’t do something else dumb this week, suggestions for future volumes of Swing Shift are always welcome.  As usual, you can either leave a suggestion in the comments or e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Veronica: If you would like our he said/she said take on any other relationship questions, we are also game for that!

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