It’s on the grill, but it’s actually chicken breasts marinated in balsamic vinagrette dressing and pork chops marinated in the same dressing plus some maple syrup. Any time that Veronica asks me to grill, she always has me cook a few extra pieces to have for meals later in the week, and it’s no different in the winter, even if it’s cold and starting to rain.
A reader named Lojo [no blog to link to] left the following comment:
I’m not a swinger and have no interest in joining the lifestyle, but am curious about the types of people you come across. You’re obviously an intelligent couple. Do your “dates” tend to be like you intellectually? Socio-economically? Ethically? Politically? Religiously? It is such a foreign lifestyle to me that I’m curious. Sorry if this is too intrusive, and maybe not an appropriate blog comment.
Before we attempt to answer the readers question, I’d like to point out 2 things- I don’t know that we’ve ever had a question that we consider too intrusive to answer and whether a reader is in the lifestyle or not [or even just interested] is irrelevant to us. We’ve had questions from experienced swingers, newbies, people who are looking to get started, and the just plain curious. The point is, anyone is welcome to comment or leave a suggestion! Okay, on to the questions…
First of all, thanks for the compliment, thinking that we’re intelligent. But as I tell people when they learn that I’ve earned my Ph.D., I’m not very smart, I just went to school for a really long time! Seriously, we don’t care about “education” because we’re more interested in physical attraction and chemistry and besides going to school doesn’t necessarily make someone intelligent, so I don’t think it’s fair to say that our dates tend to be like us intellectually. Besides, I know a some very smart people with no more than a high school diploma and a few Ph.D.’s who are idiots…
As far as ethics, politics, and religion, I can’t say what the swinging community is like. Some might argue that partner swapping and casual sex among married couples is inherently unethical! Politically, I would guess that swingers as a group are more left of center than the general population, but that is just a guess and I have nothing to support that.
In our experience, the swinging community in our area is pretty white- I can’t recall ever meeting a black couple at any parties or clubs and we’ve only met a few Hispanic couples. But on the other hand, there seems to be numerous black men on the lifestyle websites we belong to, so I did a quick search. Within the search parameters I used [just age and distance], there are 227 white couples and 100 single white men, compared to only 7 black couples and 18 single black men. So I guess my initial impression about minorities in the lifestyle in our area was correct. Don’t ask me why I think that swingers are more likely than not to be white, because I have no idea!
Veronica: As far as the socio-economic question, I have found that most of the couples we have met in the lifestyle seem to be at least middle class. It’s my opinion that to participate in the lifestyle you need a little disposable income. Even though all you need to get started is an internet connection and an email account, there is more to it. First off, you need access to internet at home, as most libraries will not probably let you access the lifestyle websites there, and even if you can, in many libraries you need to use your library card to access the internet, which kills the whole privacy thing. You can have free memberships at the different sites, but they do not give you as much access and privileges as the paying memberships. At some point you have to go out on dates with people, which is not cheap either. When Hubman and I go to a party hosted by our favorite group between the party fee, sitter, and gas, it is easily a $100 night, and that is before any special theme outfits are purchased. We are going to an on-premises club this weekend, and it’s a $20 membership fee, a $25 application fee and a $90 fee to actually walk in the door for the party. Then you have the ancillary costs of cute outfits and lingerie to wear and it’s not being a very cheap investment.
Hubman: I KNEW that someday Veronica wouldn’t be a cheap date! Hahaha
Veronica: We have not spent enough time with any one couple to ask about religion or politics. Discussions of what we all do for a living happen, but not usually indepth. We tend to not mention Hubman’s Ph.D a some people find this intimidating.
When we search for couples we usually look for ones that have the same interests as us, (no pain, safe sex, no drama,) so since they are on the same playing field there, we feel the ethics match up.
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What we’re left wondering is if our experiences are atypical or not. I remember Southern Vixen writing a post, I think it was before she moved to WordPress, talking about people from all walks on life in the lifestyle- doctors, cops, teachers, academics, military, IT professionals, corrections officers, self-employed, marketing, etc. Do any of you have any experiences different from ours? Are we off-base with any of our impressions about those are who in the lifestyle? As always, comments are appreciated, as are suggestions for future volumes of Swing Shift. In you prefer to remain anonymous, just e-mail me at hubman38 at gmail dot com and I’ll keep your identity to myself!
