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Defense Attorney:  Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:  I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:  Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:   There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,   when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:  Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:  No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:  What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:  He started to rub my thigh..

Defense Attorney:  Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:  No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attorney:  Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago..

Defense Attorney:  What happened next?

Little Old Lady:  He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:  Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:  No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:  Why not?

Little Old Lady:  His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:  What happened next?

Little Old Lady:  Well, by then, I was feeling so ‘spicy’ that I just laid down and told him ‘Take me, young man. Take me now!’

Defense Attorney:  Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, ‘ April Fool!’ And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard!!