Swing Shift Volume 39- One and Only

A couple of months ago I wrote the following, to accompany a Wanton Wednesday post-

There are many ways that Veronica and I share ourselves with friends and lovers
There is one thing I don’t share with anyone else, she wouldn’t have it any other way

If you looked carefully at the click-thru picture in that post, you might have noticed that Veronica and I were having anal sex.  The message is that while we do a lot of things when we’re playing with other partners we, like just about anyone else, have our limits.  A day or two after that post John and Ann, who are regular commenters on our lifestyle posts, e-mailed me-

If you and Veronica decide to bring back advice column part of your blog, I think that you could have a very interesting post about making decisions about what couples share with others and what they don’t. The underlying reasons are very interesting.

Well, since we did decide to bring back Swing Shift, what better way to start than with this suggestion?

Once upon a time, I convinced Veronica to try anal sex, she had never tried it with any of her previous partners and well, she was my first partner at all, so obviously I never tried it before either!  As much as we’ve both come to enjoy it, as we were discussing limits with others, she told me that anal sex is something that she wants to save for just her and I, no one else gets her ass.

Veronica, care to explain your rationale?

I leave it as your sole domain because I wanted to have something of my body that I do not share with anyone but you because I like the concept of some physical exclusivity amongst the sharing.  I do not limit you because if another woman wants to experience anal sex with you, I want you and her to have the freedom to do so.  While I am sure many of the men I have had sex with would like to fuck my ass, I do not feel that my not participating in anal sex limits the fun we have together, as they still have my pussy and mouth at their disposal.   I also think that you get a little kick out of knowing that there is a part of my body that no man (or woman with a strap on) can ever have.

Isn’t that sweet?

It’s not that simple though.  She’s comfortable with my having anal sex with other women, plus she is interested in trying double penetration, which we mention on our swinger website profiles as a fantasy of hers.

In practice, these limits have not presented a problem- while I have had anal sex with several other women, only once was it during a full swap with another couple.  If the topic of anal play comes up with another couple, we leave no room for misinterpretation and let them know of our boundaries.

Veronica: However a ‘boundary’ does not have to be limiting; it can also be an opportunity.  For example, while I do not mind a little cum landing on my face in the course of Hubman cumming, I do not find the idea of a facial appealing (unless I am at a really nice spa and a mani-pedi is also involved).  However in the course of our play with other couples or solo, if a woman asked Hubman to cum on her face, then he is free to do, I wouldn’t mind at all.

Because of the Wanton Wednesday post we’re using anal sex as an example, but it really applies to anything, kissing, fellatio, cunnilingus, soft swap vs full swap, whatever.  Establish the limits you and your partner are comfortable with, share those limits with your other playmates as necessary, and have fun!

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

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