Honesty and Courtesy

Yes, that’s a huge leap for your readership :p

In all seriousness though, more relationships should place an emphasis on both of those things. I’m glad things seems to be working out for everyone involved.

This is intense and fast – a new side to you that I’m glad you’re sharing. Your response is the most rational of any that you could have given – you don’t make bones about the situation. I will have to go back and read the introduction post, but this was a great way to learn of Katie.

I don’t know, Hubman. Those words of hers would’ve seriously concerned me. A fuck buddy shouldn’t be wondering where the relationship is going. You’re not cheating on your wife because you’re unhappy. You have permission. You have no intentions of leaving your wife. Katie knows this. Where does she think it’s going to go beyond being a fuck buddy?

Treating others with honesty and courtesy is the minimum I give to anyone, even complete strangers, unless they abuse that privilege. I demand the same from them. Stepping up from level of stranger, I have acquaintances, friends, and lovers. Any of those levels can include sex.

I do love people other than my husband. It was awkward at first to admit to myself, my husband, and them. I have had sex with many of them, but not all. I am still friends/lovers with all of them even if distance doesn’t allow for sex. It’s not the most important part, though.

It doesn’t sound like you are quite there yet, but don’t be afraid of loving. Yes, there is always the risk of the creepy psycho stalker, but trust your instincts with people. The benefits are amazing. The next step from swinging is polyamory sometimes.

I agree with April. Alarm bells are ringing. Katie seems like she might be wanting more of a perm thing and if she’s truly unhappy in her marriage, then she might be feeling the void with you, which can be a dangerous thing.

Sorry I’m a Psychologist for the Mentally ill and Katie is reminding me of a patient I have. Those words she said remind me of the first episode my patient had before she killed her husband and lover three months later, all because her lover had to end things when his wife asked him too.

Also, if little voices in your head are telling you that your wife isn’t be honest about her being comfortable with this, then perhaps you need to listen to the voices and stop before someone’s feelings get hurt.

I don’t know your wife, you, or Katie personally, so please don’t think I’m judging you or speaking of things I don’t know. I’m simply giving my honest opinion on the situation.

I worry about these sorts of things because I’m generally not attracted to people unless there is a deeper connection or potential for a deeper connection (whatever form that takes, sometimes friendship or whatever).

What an intense conversation. I feel for her. (and you, of course). It really shows what a stand up guy you are to promise honest and courtesy. It’s really all there is. I look forward to reading more about Katie! Sounds like you two are having fun.

As far as my own exploration into polyamory – I feel like there is a difference between loving someone in addition to, rather than instead of. Does that make sense? You and Veronica are solid – and even if your feelings for Katie creep into love it doesn’t mean it has taken anything away from what you and Veronica have.

And I’m sure Katie knows where she stands in this scenario. If anything, it’s her heart that will need protection because she can only get a piece of you.

Good luck!