Mom

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Oct 282011
 

As we age, eventually our roles with our parents change. Where once they took care of us, we gradually help take care of them. I just wish it wasn’t starting to happen already…

My dad is 67 and mom is 64. Even a year a go, if you asked me to guess which would need more help eventually, I would have said my dad. As it turns out, I think it might be my mom.

Last Fall she was driving to NY to see my sister and had an accident on the highway. It was raining pretty hard and she hydroplaned, right into the concrete center divider. Fortunately the only damage was to her car, which was considerable.

Over the summer we visited her and my step-dad and I noticed some damage under the passenger side doors. I asked her about it and she made some comment about a pole or curb jumping out to get her.

And then Tuesday morning happened

I’m at work and get a phone call from my sister – “First of all, mom is ok. She’s been in an accident and they’re taking her to the hospital. I haven’t spoken to her, but the paramedic says she’s alert and just most likely banged up some. As a precaution they’ve got her on a backboard and neck brace until they can check her out at the hospital.”

My sister told me that she was leaving for moms ASAP and would call me once she knew more. As the day goes on, we learn that mom just has a bruised sternum, due to the seatbelt doing its job. We also learn that it was a single-car accident. Somehow (she says it was foggy out) mom managed to plow into a telephone pole before she even left the condo complex.

Not only that, but she hit the pole hard enough to break it.

She was discharged from the hospital later that day, and my sister has been staying with her. Since my step-dad passed away last month, mom is alone there. I told them I would hit the road if they needed me to, but neither of them thought it was necessary.

Now my sister has to head back home, but mom isn’t ready to be alone yet, so she asked me to come visit.

By the time this post goes up, Darling Boy and I will be on the road. We’re having him skip school today, knowing full well that as much as mom will like to see me, having a grandchild around will please her to no end.

9 hrs and 525 miles each way. This is going to be a long weekend.  If I think mom is in the right frame of mind, I think we’re going to have a talk…

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  • http://www.singedwingangelspad.org Angel

    As a daughter taking care of her mom , I hear and know exactly what you are going through right now. Sending prayers to you all.

  • http://ellidragon.mollysdailykiss.com KaziGrrl

    I’m in that position too, with both my parents; I’ve had to go flying down the Pike several times on short notice in the past couple years for emergency hospitalisations (all medical based)… luckily I don’t have to drive quite so far as you. Had to talk very sternly to Mom on a couple of occasions, so NOT a fun turnabout of roles :(
    Welcome to the sandwich generation… you’re not alone and tg your parents have you!!

  • Petunia

    Yikes. Has she had her vision checked recently? I would also consult with her doc, because I wouldn’t think she is old enough to have these problems explained by her age alone.

  • June

    It’s so hard. Especially if the parent won’t listen or doesn’t want to make any changes. I hope your mom will listen.

  • http://anothersuburbanmom.blogspot.com Another Suburban Mom

    Personally your mom cannot move and live near your sister soon enough for me. I worry about her out there.

    I would also tell her one more accident and she can’t have the kids in the car with her.

  • alive_she_cried

    I went through something similar with my father. He was in his late sixties, had Parkinson’s disease and was losing his vision when he decided (after several near misses) that it was time for him to give up driving. It helped that he was living with us; I still had to make it clear to him that I would drive him wherever he wanted to go. He just didn’t want to give up his independence. When it came time for us to seek round-the-clock care for him, he went with the VA social workers to tour the Veteran’s Home, and pronounced it a great place to live. The backup I got from Dad’s doctors, health care workers and social workers (at the VA hospital) was huge. They made it so that when he had to take that next step, it was HIS idea, and he was allowed to steer the process.

    Good luck, Hubman. This is difficult. Hugs to you.

  • http://amorouschick.blogspot.com Ashly Star

    That’s rough, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad your mom wasn’t more hurt considering the damage done to the pole, though. ((hugs))

  • http://www.learning2swing.blogspot.com Mrs. Learning

    Oh, that is horrible :( thoughts are with you all. It’s sad when stuff like this starts to happen with parents. I wrote about my dad this week possibly having Parkinson’s or dementia. I hope you were able to chat.

  • http://notaperfectlife.wordpress.com/ Sophia

    Gosh that’s horrible and I hope you had that talk. My parents are aging as well so I know how you and V feel.
    *hugs*

   

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