Yes My Wife Approves

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Feb 242011
 

That’s what I chose as the caption for my Ashley Madison profile. We had discussed the idea of my looking for a friend with benefits, now it was time to write a profile and try to find that woman.

I had briefly toyed with the idea the playing the role of the sexually frustrated husband who’s looking to cheat on his wife, but really, isn’t that like damn near every other guy on AM? I want to stand out from the crowd, to catch a woman’s attention and make her think “now there’s a guy I’d like to get to know.”

Honesty certainly seemed to be the best policy when I was away all last summer, why not stick with what works?

Height, weight, age, where I live, what I’m looking for (“Anything goes”), smoking habits (“Never”), in just a few minutes I have the outline of a profile that has done absolutely nothing to make me stand out from the crowd. Yet.

The next step in creating a profile on AM is a page called “My Intimate Desires” and it contains no less than 35 check boxes, everything from “kissing” and “cuddling and hugging” to “fetishes”, “open to experimentation” and “being dominant/master.”

I skip all of these, checking off none of them and instead I use the text box to share a few thoughts of my own

Does anyone really check off these boxes? I have a variety of desires and am also open to new opportunities, I wouldn’t want to limit myself by checking off some boxes

Nothing terribly creative, but at least it shows that I’m not just blindly checking off boxes without much thought. The next page is “My Perfect Match” and again there is an extensive list of check boxes. As if my perfect match (actually I’m already married to her, this is for my perfect fuck-buddy) can be found by checking off some boxes. Instead I use the text box again and get a little playful

The fact that you are on here shows that you are really interested in having sex and that gets us halfway there.

I could do better and might go back to revise that at some time, but for now I leave it alone. Lastly we come to “My Personal Interests” and again with the stupid check boxes! Ladies who are on AM, do a lot of guys just use those and not bother to write anything? I’m curious what you think. Now it’s time to use the text box area to elaborate on what I’m doing here and what I’m looking for.

My wife and I have an open marriage and have come to enjoy playing separately with others as well as together.  I’m not looking to replace anything at home, I couldn’t be happier, this is just a fun diversion.  Short-term, long-term, I’m opened minded about seeing what might develop.  But don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a one-night stand or a notch on the bedpost.  And if you’re skeptical about all of this, you can ask my wife, I’d be happy to let you talk to her if you think I’m full of BS!

The last step in creating my profile was to include some pictures. I wanted something to show publicly that lets her know that I’m a reasonably in-shape guy but doesn’t show my face. Check out my Twitter avatar, that’s the picture I used. AM has what they call a “Private Showcase” you can give someone a “Key” to it and they can see other pictures, and you can revoke the key at any time. Might as well add a couple of pictures there as well! I ended up using a couple of HNT pictures, one from last May and one from November. Bonus points to anyone who guesses which ones correctly ;-)

So now I have a profile on AM. That was enough for one evening, it was time to put down the laptop and I would start searching for women to contact some other day.

And then before I had the chance, not one but two women contacted me first…

 Swinging  9 Responses »

More Open Than Ever

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Feb 202011
 

“I can’t ever see Veronica and I reaching a point where one of us stays home with the kids while the other one of us goes out on a date”

File that statement under “famous last words”. I’m not sure if I ever wrote those exact words somewhere, but I know that I had long felt that way. While it’s true that I’ve met and had some very enjoyable times with friends in the course of my travels for work, we always viewed that differently, since I was already away from home and it wasn’t taking away from family time.

With a few exceptions (my FWB in San Antonio, the former stripper that Slippery When Wet hooked me up with), most of these partners all have something in common- they’re married but sexually unsatisfied. Tangent time…

I realize that with the passage of years, people change, desires wax and wane, whatever.  There are all sorts of reasons why someone might choose to seek the pleasure of another without their spouses consent, and I don’t want this to read as a carte blanche condemnation of infidelity.

Read the rest of the post here.

That’s what I said, and almost 2 years later I still feel the same way. What’s more, if she’s cheating with me, that’s not my fault. If Veronica were to cheat on me, I would blame her, and I would blame myself, but not the man (or woman) she’s cheating on me with.

Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do.
Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they want to do already.

Back in early January when Veronica’s surgery was first scheduled, she brought up the idea of my finding a local playmate while she was out of commission for several weeks.  Isn’t she good to me?

Veronica: We had discussed it before then, as I had always been turned on by Hubman’s adventures.  Just like the husband of a hotwife gets turned on hearing about the adventures of his partner, I find it arousing that Hubman is able to share his sexual talents and tell me about it later.  Also, one of the things I like about our group encounters is the smell and taste of the other woman on Hubman, and if he limits his experiences to travel time, then I don’t get to enjoy that.  However, having sex with Hubman and getting a whiff of his other lover is pretty hot for me.

Its also been great that for the most part the women he has been with on the road have been so kind and thoughtful, even sending me a ‘thanks for sharing’ e-mail or phone call.

I am not worried about Hubman falling in love with another woman, because I really believe that the more love you send out into the universe, the more love comes back to you. (New Agey- I know.)

So this new phase of openness has been on the horizon for a while in the abstract, but having a multi-week ban on sex really gave us an impetus to put the plan in motion.

Back in January, on my birthday actually, I took this picture and teased you with the question of whether it was Veronica or I or both of us who were creating a profile on a particular dating site.

Now how to go about writing that profile? Stay tuned…

 Swinging  8 Responses »

Swing Shift Volume 42- A Reader’s Dilemna

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Jan 312011
 

Last week I was e-mailing back and forth with a blogger friend who along with her husband is relatively new to swinging.  She brought up a situation that elicited some unexpected emotions, so with her permission I’m posting our exchange (she requested to remain anonymous).

So, there’s a swinger’s question for you… do you and Veronica always swing together or do you get to play on your own as well? How about Veronica? Does she have playmates that she can see without you? Have you two always met each other’s playmates before any playing occurs? We got together with A&B from the Christmas swinger’s party last weekend, and B (girl) had crashed and J was on the verge of crashing. A and I were still playing. C didn’t feel comfortable letting us continue while he went to bed (they had a spare room, where we were going to be staying), so he stopped us. A went upstairs to join B, and C and I went to our room, where I at least got some of his cock.

C’s uncomfortableness that night brought up a discussion about how he doesn’t think he’ll ever feel comfortable letting me fuck someone else without him there. There are just too many things that could go wrong. yada yada yada.

I found this way more upsetting than I probably should have.

Since you’ve been in the lifestyle longer than we have, I’m curious about your take on this situation.

The part of my response about Veronica or I playing alone isn’t relevant, here’s the part that is

The situation with A&B, it sounds like a scenario came up that perhaps you and C hadn’t considered yet. Veronica and I have 2 cardinal rules in swinging- respecting boundaries and no taking one for the team. C is your hubby and you HAVE to respect his feelings, if he’s not comfortable with something, it’s okay to discuss it (some other time than in the midst of play), but don’t push it or ask him to do something or allow you to do something. Give it time, Veronica and I have found that our boundaries have shifted the longer we’ve been open, as the travel stuff indicates. Maybe C will get to a place where he’s comfortable with separate play, but maybe not, and you have to be ready to accept that.

Veronica didn’t chime in on the original e-mail exchange, so she’s taking the opportunity now

Veronica: When Hubman and I started swinging we had a lot of rules.  Now we have very few. Having an open marriage requires a lot of trust and communication, and while you can’t anticipate every issue (although if you read all 40 volumes of Swing Shift before you dipped a toe into the lifestyle you might) you need to be able to set your basic rules and then have regular discussions about them.

For us playing alone, that opportunity came about due to Hubman’s work travel.  When we first started playing I was not at all comfortable with the idea of Hubman’s playing alone, but now I enjoy hearing about it and encourage his adventures.

How did we do, dear readers?  Any thoughts that you’d like to add for this couples consideration?

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 Swing Shift, Swinging  6 Responses »

Swing Shift Volume 41- Cockblocked

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Jan 182011
 

Or, a tale of two attempted dates!

About a week and a half ago Veronica and I had a date with a very nice couple.   Attraction all around, good conversation over dinner, we have numerous things in common, really, we haven’t had a first date that good in quite a while.  Soon enough we made plans to get together again, clearly we all intended on ending the night getting naked together.

Then the text arrives…

“My UTI hasn’t cleared up yet.  I think I’m going to have to cancel. I’m so sorry!!”

Damn, cockblocked by a UTI!

Veronica: I was really bummed when I got the text, but as soon as I realized that the date wasn’t happening, I texted Sally, and told her I had a sitter and why don’t we get together.  Thankfully, I’m always thinking.

Now what?  We have a sitter booked, worse case is Veronica and I go out for dinner, it’s always nice when just the 2 of us get out for a quiet dinner without the kids. But what about Paul and Sally?  We haven’t seen them since last May but have stayed in touch and have talked about getting together again one of these days. Woohoo, they’re available and looking forward to seeing us again!

We make plans to meet at a local sports bar and watch the Patriots-Jets game and talk about coming back to our house afterward.  We enjoy the game (us more than them, they’re die-hard Patriots fans) and a lot of flirty banter and discreet touching, it was really nice to see her again. As the game is ending, they get a text from their 16 yr old daughter, who was supposed to be spending the night at a friends house.  She changed her mind, she wanted them to come pick her up.

Damn, cockblocked by a teen!

Veronica: At first I was worried in my usual paranoid way that maybe they did not want to have sex with us, but I got text from both of them within 1 half hour of us going home talking about how they wanted to rip my clothes off.  So we will have to rebook with them soon.

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The moral of the story?

Just because we didn’t have naked fun with friends, new or old, it doesn’t mean we didn’t have a great time.  We got out, spent some vanilla time with non-vanilla friends and had some awesome sex when we got home, just the two of us :-)

We’ve always maintained that swinging is fun, ‘sport-fucking’ with friends.  When it’s not fun, when finding playmates is more annoyance than anything else (and there have been those times), then it’s time to take a break.

If having an open relationship is adding stress to your life and isn’t fun, maybe you’re doing something wrong and need to reevaluate.

Veronica:  At the end of an evening, when things don’t go as planned, you just have to laugh.   If you can’t laugh then you need to re-evaluate your participation.

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 Swing Shift, Swinging  5 Responses »

Swing Shift Volume 40- Rookie Mistakes

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Jan 102011
 

No reader submitted questions or comments to respond to this week (Even though we do have some to get to in the coming weeks, feel free to suggest a column if you’ve got an idea!).

Some of our readers might be under the impression that we’ve successfully navigated the open relationship waters with minimal challenges.  Well, nothing could be further from the truth, is this is where we share some of our mistakes.

Veronica: After all, its through sharing our mistakes, that we can hopefully prevent our readers from making the same errors.

Fucking in the living room

One of our first mistakes? With the very first couple that we swapped with!

Veronica: With B&K we made a few errors.  The biggest error we made was my having sex with B in our living room, while the kids were in their bedrooms, right down the hall.  Now Hubman and I frequently have sex in the living room, (hopefully tonight) and I rarely worry about the kids discovering us there, or if they every did, we would be embarrassed, but everyone would get over it.  However, mommy having sex with someone that’s not daddy?  Not such a good idea.  So now we bring our playmates into the basement, where we can shut the door and if one of the kids is making noise, I can toss on a robe and attend to them.

Although I hate to use the word error, we had a small issue when I let B come in my mouth.  Hubman and I had not discussed that particular boundary beforehand and when I mentioned it to him afterwards, he was unsettled.  This is why you always have to communicate.

Hubman: Sometimes, you think you’ve talked about everything, considered all that you would or would not be comfortable with.  Or maybe you really did, only to discover that you’re own reaction surprises you.  That’s what happened with me.

Veronica: However, I kind of give ourselves a break.  It was our first time and no first time is perfect.

Playmates meeting the kids

Veronica: Our general preference if for playmates who are parents.  We find that even if they no longer have young children, people who have children are more understanding to the scheduling issues that can arise when you are working with sitters and such.  However, when you do meet people with children, they can also have sitter issues so sometimes in order to be able to actually get to meet, or because we enjoy their company socially, we invite them over to hang out while our kids are awake.   The issue with this is one that is probably very familiar to our readers who are single parents.  Relationships don’t always work out.  Thankfully our kids have not asked, “Hey whatever happened to so and so?” but since it is a possibility, we generally avoid having our playmates meet our kids until we have a pretty established relationship with them.

Hubman: I think about Ned and Ann.  They came over for dinner, the kids met them, and then Ned and Ann were never seen again.  Fortunately the kids weren’t that inquisitive about what happened to our friends, though someday as the kids get older that’s going to change.  Since then we’ve become more cautious about our lifestyle friends meeting the kids.  Single parents who are on the dating scene, how do you handle when the kids meet a boyfriend or girlfriend? I’m curious.

Face pictures

Veronica:  This one is pretty obvious.  Sitters cost $15 per hour up here, so a date night can easily run us $45 before we’ve even ordered a drink.  Now I don’t mind spending the money and the date just not working out, or the chemistry being lacking, but hiring a sitter for a date that if we had seen a face picture (or a recent picture, cough slow unicorn cough) we never would have left the house for, really frosts me.

Hubman: Not that that’s ever happened to us.  Oh wait, it has.

Is a women there/interested?

Veronica: This also goes to the face picture concept.  If we all get together and there just happens to be no chemistry that is fine.  It happens and having everyone like each other and want to get naked with everyone can be more challenging than you might think.   However, getting together to find out that 1/2 the couple is being dragged into this, that is a wasted evening that Hubman and I could have spent just enjoying each others company.

Hubman: This one actually happened before we ever swapped, the day before we swapped with B&K, as a matter of fact.  We had just created our profile on a swingers website earlier that week and we were so happy that a couple was interested in us that we jumped at the opportunity without noticing the clues that were there upon reflection.  The funny thing about this particular night, it started our tradition of Dairy Queen after an unfortunate date.  Gotta get something good out of the night!

Since then, we’ve gotten pretty good at figuring out that a “couple” is really one, or at least she’s not aware of what he’s doing.  Which unfortunately happens far too often, as far as I’m concerned.

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 Swing Shift, Swinging  7 Responses »

Swing Shift Volume 39- One and Only

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Jan 032011
 

A couple of months ago I wrote the following, to accompany a Wanton Wednesday post-

There are many ways that Veronica and I share ourselves with friends and lovers
There is one thing I don’t share with anyone else, she wouldn’t have it any other way

If you looked carefully at the click-thru picture in that post, you might have noticed that Veronica and I were having anal sex.  The message is that while we do a lot of things when we’re playing with other partners we, like just about anyone else, have our limits.  A day or two after that post John and Ann, who are regular commenters on our lifestyle posts, e-mailed me-

If you and Veronica decide to bring back advice column part of your blog, I think that you could have a very interesting post about making decisions about what couples share with others and what they don’t. The underlying reasons are very interesting.

Well, since we did decide to bring back Swing Shift, what better way to start than with this suggestion?

Once upon a time, I convinced Veronica to try anal sex, she had never tried it with any of her previous partners and well, she was my first partner at all, so obviously I never tried it before either!  As much as we’ve both come to enjoy it, as we were discussing limits with others, she told me that anal sex is something that she wants to save for just her and I, no one else gets her ass.

Veronica, care to explain your rationale?

I leave it as your sole domain because I wanted to have something of my body that I do not share with anyone but you because I like the concept of some physical exclusivity amongst the sharing.  I do not limit you because if another woman wants to experience anal sex with you, I want you and her to have the freedom to do so.  While I am sure many of the men I have had sex with would like to fuck my ass, I do not feel that my not participating in anal sex limits the fun we have together, as they still have my pussy and mouth at their disposal.   I also think that you get a little kick out of knowing that there is a part of my body that no man (or woman with a strap on) can ever have.

Isn’t that sweet? :-)

It’s not that simple though.  She’s comfortable with my having anal sex with other women, plus she is interested in trying double penetration, which we mention on our swinger website profiles as a fantasy of hers.

In practice, these limits have not presented a problem- while I have had anal sex with several other women, only once was it during a full swap with another couple.  If the topic of anal play comes up with another couple, we leave no room for misinterpretation and let them know of our boundaries.

Veronica: However a ‘boundary’ does not have to be limiting; it can also be an opportunity.  For example, while I do not mind a little cum landing on my face in the course of Hubman cumming, I do not find the idea of a facial appealing (unless I am at a really nice spa and a mani-pedi is also involved).  However in the course of our play with other couples or solo, if a woman asked Hubman to cum on her face, then he is free to do, I wouldn’t mind at all.

Because of the Wanton Wednesday post we’re using anal sex as an example, but it really applies to anything, kissing, fellatio, cunnilingus, soft swap vs full swap, whatever.  Establish the limits you and your partner are comfortable with, share those limits with your other playmates as necessary, and have fun!

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 Swing Shift, Swinging  5 Responses »

Date Night

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Dec 082010
 

Life has been pretty slow on the swinging front for the last several months, mostly because that’s how we wanted it.  Last spring we were getting frustrated with flakes and fakes, and with my impending 10 week trip to Texas we decided to take a break.  Once I returned we started browsing profiles and contacting people again, but weren’t trying too hard.

There was a possible unicorn, but that didn’t quite work out.  We also said goodbye to another unicorn.

A couple of weeks ago a local couple caught our eye, so we contacted them.  We exchanged a few messages and pictures, but that’s nothing to get excited about, that’s happened many times before.  However this time has been different- Veronica and Sandy have spoken on the phone, which lead to the 2 of them hanging out on a recent Saturday afternoon while John was away on business and I was home with the kids.

There is an interesting wrinkle with this couple.  Their profile says that they’re looking for a couple for full-swap, but after we contacted them they said they were reconsidering that and were instead thinking about just looking for a single woman to join them, at least for now.  They asked if we would still be interested and after some discussion between Veronica and I, we said that we are.

Sounds a bit like hotwifing, doesn’t it?

I figure that Veronica’s been pretty generous with giving me the freedom to play without her when we’re apart, so I thought I’d keep an open mind and see where this goes.

In the meanwhile, Sandy and I have been texting and emailing some, I don’t know for sure but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve reconsidered and they want to play with Veronica and I together.

What might happen at their house tonight?

Maybe nothing, only the ladies have met in person so far
Maybe the sparks will fly and we’ll have our first full swap in months
And maybe they’ll still want to just play with Veronica, for now
At which time I just might drive home and leave her there to rock their world

Whatever happens, I’m looking forward to meeting them!

 Swinging  6 Responses »

Guess Who’s Back?

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Nov 222010
 

Long-time readers, or anyone who was curious about “The Tale of Ned and Ann” page above, might remember them.  The cliff notes version goes like this: we meet them for dinner, felt the chemistry right away.  They came over our house a week or so later, Veronica cooked dinner, they met the kids, we continued to have a good time with them.  After the kids were in bed and sound asleep, the 4 of us went downstairs for some play time.  Unfortunately, it went downhill from there.  Both Veronica and I were disappointed in them as lovers, we just didn’t click that way.  Since for us swinging is primarily about gratifying group sex experiences, we weren’t interested in seeing them again.  However they didn’t quite get the message, which lead to some uncomfortable IM exchanges, which you can find on The Tale of Ned and Ann page, if you’re so inclined.

This was all in November 2008.  Fast forward to May of this year, and this message appeared in our inbox:

Ned or Ann (I don’t know which of them sent any of these messages): Hope u guys r well :)

I decided not to bother replying, I don’t think I even told Veronica about this message at the time.  After 18 months, what would be the point?  Then about 2 weeks ago we got another message from them:

Ned or Ann: how r u ? :)

I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to be polite and respond, so I replied, which lead to this exchange:

Me: Hi guys, We’re doing just fine. How have you been?

Ned or Ann: been doing great! can u open your pics for us again ;)

Me: Really? Why would we want to do that?

Ned or Ann: well we would love to see

Me: you would love to see? It’s been 2 yrs, clearly there’s no desire to get together again, so I don’t really see why we would want to share our private gallery with you again.

We haven’t heard back from them since and honestly, I hope we don’t.

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While I’m talking about swingers stuff, I’m losing my patience with people who have free profiles on Swinglifestyle. Apparently the only picture free members can see is our main public profile picture. Which is very nice picture of Veronica laying on the bed, her ass up in the air, but I guess that’s not enough. Also, we CAN’T give free members access to our private gallery even if we wanted to.

Sunday afternoon I logged on to SLS to copy the messages above from Ned and Ann. I was there for about 10 minutes and 3 different couples initiated a chat with me. First of all, 3 couples in 10 minutes? Where are they coming from, that’s never happened before! Anyway, NONE of them are paid members so right away they’re asking for our e-mail address so we can exchange pictures.

Come on people, don’t be so damn cheap, spend a few bucks and actually pay for a membership. Not only does it make picture sharing easier, making the minor financial investment shows that you’re at least semi-serious about the lifestyle and not just another clown who made up a profile for your own amusement.

====================================================================

While I’m on a roll…

Saturday afternoon we got e-mails from 2 different couples and from a single guy, all asking the same thing: “Hey, are you guys free tonight?”

Allow me to quote verbatim from the very first part of our profile:

A few things we’d like to establish right up front

- no face pictures, no first date
- no phone conversation between the ladies, no first date
- no single guys
- we have kids and can’t meet on the spur of the moment, we usually need a day or 2 to arrange a sitter

That seems pretty straightforward, right? I liked Veronica’s suggested response so much, that’s what I sent!

Sure, we’ll run out right now, the dog can watch our children… Did you even read our profile?

 Swinging  6 Responses »

The Slow Unicorn

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Nov 052010
 

Several weeks ago we contacted a single woman that we noticed on Swappernet.  Late thirties, decent figure, if a little soft through the middle, and some text in her profile that hinted at an adventurous spirit in the bedroom.  We exchange several messages, face pictures are shared, she and Veronica speak on the phone, and we arrange a date for last night.

(Veronica and I tried something new- rather than passing the computer back and forth and taking turns writing about the date, we chatted on Goggle talk, here is the full text of our conversation)

Veronica: Well baby that date was a bust

me: I’ll say! When did you first think that it might be a code-word type of night?

Veronica: When she took off her coat and I saw the nana-style cardigan, what about you?

me: When she was still outside and I saw her walking towards the restaurant!
My first thought was, uh-oh is that her?

Veronica: I did not get the best look at her walking in. What really sealed the deal was when she talked about the Reiki stuff.

me: Before we talk about that, should we remind our readers what we mean by code word?

Veronica: We should. Readers, we have a rule that if either of us feels that the magic isn’t going to happen, that person utters the ‘code phrase’ which lets the other know.
I think however you jinxed us as you asked about setting up an ‘invite her home’ codeword on the way there

me: Oh sure, blame it on me!

Veronica: Well since things are usually my fault, I figured why not?
This chick was really every bad stereotype of a single woman rolled into one.

me: She was. When we got home, I looked at her profile again. Tell me, does this sound like the woman we met?
38 yrs old, 155-160 lbs, auburn hair (For the reader: She was at least mid-40s, 20 lbs heavier and gray-haired.)

Veronica: Um, no. Her profile also did not mention that she had 5 cats

me: LOL no it didn’t!

Veronica: I was also waiting for you to roll your eyes back into your head when she started talking about sending the ‘bad energy’ into the earth via a running stream.

me: Now I’m pretty open minded, whatever helps you get through the day. But when she started talking about taking other people’s negative energy and releasing it back into the Earth, I wanted to say “are you shitting me?”

Veronica: I know. When we talked on the phone, she mostly talked about her car troubles and her mom, so I thought she was cool and compassionate. But then she mentioned how she buys her mom depends! I think that the phrase ‘depends’ is definetly a cock melter.

me: Yes it is!
I guess we should explain the slow reference in the title
Did she do anything fast, or even at a normal speed?

Veronica: No. And granted we are people who like a faster pace, but she was the slowest eater in the world.

me: Eater? How about all of her movements? Talk about slow and deliberate!

Veronica: I know. That did not come out during the phone call. I am sure that she is probably very thorough, which could be a good thing, but I might have ended up falling asleep before we finished having sex.

me: Anything else we can pick on, or have we said enough?

Veronica: I think we have said enough. I don’t want to be too mean. She was a nice woman.

me: Yes she was. She’s obviously spiritual, in her own unique way, and is dedicated to taking care of her of elderly mother.

Veronica: Yes she was. I am sorry that things did not work out. I had high hopes. Back to the hunt!

me: And in the meantime, we have each other!

Veronica: Yes we do baby! I love you!

me: Alright, before we overwhelm our readers with sweetness, lets wrap this up.

Veronica: Overwhelm- don’t you mean, make them barf

me: LOL yes!
We got a “thanks, hope to see you guys soon” text from her. How are we going to reply?

Veronica: I sent a text telling her we had a lovely evening and sent her a ‘muah’. I will send her an email this weekend letting her know the chemistry just is not there

me: Sounds good to me. Direct without being mean or insulting

Veronica: Exactly. There is no reason to be rude.

And now you know why I tweeted “It’s a code word kind of date” last night!

 Swinging  9 Responses »

Comments on Comments, Different Responses

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Nov 012010
 

Last week I had a short post about saying goodbye to a unicorn friend that Veronica is no longer interested in playing with.  I received several comments on it, two of which struck me in different ways and wanted to comment on.

Mike wrote

Hmmm…probably has something to do with her being in HR and the whole videotape thing. That would make me hesitate…Once put on video these days, it lives on forever…

Mike is certainly correct, video (and pictures for that matter) can live on forever online.  Which is why we’re cautious about who we allow to take pictures or video of us.  Something else to think about-while our friend has pictures of our faces, we also have pictures of hers, so there is an element of shared risk.  Veronica has used the phrase ‘honor amongst thieves’ to describe the discretion you find when meeting other swingers, and I think the same idea goes for picture sharing.  If we had any concerns about pictures showing up elsewhere without our permission, we wouldn’t allow them to be taken in the first place.

Veronica:  I am also not too concerned about picture sharing for the reasons Hubman mentioned above.  I also don’t worry about meeting people I know from work at parties or online, because if they out me they out themselves.

And for the record Mike, your guess was incorrect, video had nothing to do with Veronica’s decision.

I tweeted a link to the post and received this response from headlover76

Her tweet to me was a little while after my original tweet and wasn’t sure what she was referring to, which lead to a DM exchange between us (shared with her permission), in which she said

Veronica: I am glad that someone found that post helpful.  We really do have the rule about one partner’s no is a unilateral no.  While Hubman did ask me a few times if I was really, really, really sure that I did not want to see our unicorn friend again, once he ascertained that I was positive, then the discussion was over.  You have to work that way.  If Hubman had pushed and cajoled me into seeing her again even though I was not enthusiastic about it, yes he would have had the fun of playing with her again, but I would have been resentful and you never know when and where that resentment would come out.

Was this friend hot? Oh yes.  Was she fun to play with? You have no idea!  But Veronica said no more, so that’s it.

 Swinging  1 Response »
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