Really, I am, and I’ll tell you why!
Why do I bring this up today? Sit back my friends and let me tell you a story…
There was once a blogger who went by the name of Southern Sage, perhaps you remember him. His wife didn’t know about his blog, she found it, was NOT happy, and he left the blogosphere. Now some people were deeply affected by this and wrote heart-felt goodbyes to him. Me? In one of my occasional Apropos of Nothing posts I threw in this little tidbit, gently mocking some of those people
Some people might have noticed that Southern Sage disappeared from the blogosphere last Saturday. His blog is deleted, his e-mail account is gone, so is his Twitter profile and Facebook page, from what I’ve heard.
I came across a couple of posts that seemed to be eulogizing him, like he’s dead. Sure, the online persona known as Southern Sage is gone, but the man behind the pseudonym is still alive and kicking. Assuming his wife isn’t that pissed about what she’s found…
Well one of these eulogizers, Vixen Kitten, took great offense with me and went on the attack. Unfortunately she’s one of those people who does not stand by her words, as she deleted her eulogy to Southern Sage, so I can’t link to it. Not only that, but she’s never called me out by name and she does not approve comments left by me or by others in support of me. If you’re so right Vixen Kitten, you wouldn’t be afraid to let your readers know who and exactly what you’re referring to. Bottom line, the reason I’m writing this post is so that people know exactly who you’re talking about, I have no desire to address any of the particular comments you’ve made about me, nor do I care about the insults you’ve attempted to hurt me with.
Her first attack on me is here, and here is a screen shot, just in case she goes chickenshit again and deletes it. Then she followed up with this justification of her attack (screen shot). As if that wasn’t enough, even when she’s writing about what makes her happy, she takes another shot at me
All the while, I’m staying quiet, save for some comments on Twitter when I first learned of this back in early September. Apparently this sent a ton of traffic her way and caught her attention, leading to this attack not too long ago, (screen shot). I left a comment on that post yesterday morning, which in typical chickenshit fashion she did NOT approve, though she did use it in another attack, posted barely 2 hrs after I left the comment (screen shot).
I find it funny that she mocks my activity on Twitter, since Southern Sage was also active there. You see her reference to 2 comments? Go ahead, try to find them, you can’t, nor can you find any of the comments I left on her blog, evidence that she only approves comments that support her and none that dissent from her ramblings. As far as her insinuation about my lack of friends, I think this screen shot of her sitemeter log for this past week tells the story- I’m good for traffic, she needs me!
There’s an interesting back story that some of you may not be aware of. Southern Sage’s wife commented on my Apropos of Nothing post, which I also tweeted about. This lead to 2 things happening- several of my fabulous readers went back to that post and left extremely supportive comments for Mrs Sage, reaffirming what a wonderful man and husband he is and how it would be a shame it their 20 yr relationship ended because of a blog. We let Mrs Sage know about these comments and she returned to read them. At the same time, Veronica and Mrs Sage started e-mailing each other occasionally. So while Vixen Kitten is so mad at me for mentioning Southern Sage, Southern Sage’s wife is thanking me for doing so! In fact, Mrs Sage e-mail Veronica just the other day to let us know how they’re doing.
Vixen Kitten, you call your blog “The Journey of My Heart” and you have a button on your sidebar that says erase hate. Instead of paying so much attention to me, perhaps you’d be better off looking inward and erasing the hate in your heart.
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What I’m left wondering about is WHY did Vixen Kitten take this so personally, why does she continue to attack me? It’s not like we’re strangers, in fact, I used to consider her a friend. Once upon a time we regularly texted each other and chatted on the phone once in a while. Veronica and I even had a little 3-way phone sex with her once, which she wrote about (screen shot). And it wasn’t just sexual stuff, when Vixen Kitten was having HR-related issues at work, she reached out to Veronica for help and advice, which Veronica happily gave.
It just goes to show, some people aren’t who you think they are.
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The one casualty in all of this has been a friendship with another blogger. She left supportive comments on Vixen Kittens attack posts and I called her out on it via e-mail, making it clear that I’m the sanctimonious asshat in question. This isn’t just another blogger friend, this is one of less than 10 blogger friends that I’m friends with on Facebook, which speaks volumes as to how comfortable I was with her. Even after I called her out, she’s continued to condone Vixen Kitten’s attacks on me and leaving supportive. That’s not a person I can continue to be friends with.
What I’m saying is, I haven’t let myself get pigeonholed into a niche category or worry about meeting some sort of expectations.
Why I Comment
Because there’s an interesting discussion that I feel I have something to add to
Because I want to lend some support or encouragement
Because there’s really no good reason at all, but I felt like it anyway
Or even because she looks really good naked and I want to encourage her photo sharing
Don’t tell me that you’re surprised by that!
But you know why I don’t comment? Because of some “blogger etiquette” that compels me to comment on someone’s blog for the sole reason that they commented on mine.
Yesterday I remarked on twitter “Wow based on blog stats & (lack of) comments, you really don’t care when naughtiness is implied instead of explicit for #WantonWednesday”. It wasn’t meant as a gripe about lack of comments, it was meant as more a reflection of what kind of content is likely to generate comments, though I can see how it might be misinterpreted. That’s okay though.
It turns out that my tweet was a conversation starter, leading someone else to make the “blogger etiquette” comment.
Am I guilty of doing that in the past? Yes, no doubt, but it didn’t take me long to realize how the game was played. There were people who sat back waiting for comments, then whoever commented would get the “courtesy” of a comment in return. There were the equally meaningless “nice photo” comments as well.
I understand, commenting is part of self-advertising. You’ve started a blog and you’d like to develop a readership, so you visit (or have already been visiting) bloggers with similar interests. You hope that people will wonder who you are and visit your blog to find out, and that they’ll like what they see and stick around.
I don’t know about other blogs, but I looked at my stats and in the history of this blog (and it’s wordpress.com predecessor) only about 1% of visitors will leave a comment. “Lurkers” are a fact of blogging life.
Leave a comment if you’d like, or don’t, it’s okay either way.
But if you’re commenting only because you’re expecting me to reciprocate, please don’t.
There are a lot of reason why I may leave a comment, but a sense of obligation isn’t one of them.