It’s been ages since Veronica and I wrote one of these posts together, and last night’s adventures at the strip club are just begging to be recounted! Friday was her birthday and she decided that she wanted a quiet evening at home with the kids, but then we would get a sitter for Saturday night and just she and I would go out to celebrate.
Veronica: I thought about doing dinner and a movie, but since we have an HD TV and streaming Netflix it’s hard to get excited about seeing much of anything in the theatre. So instead I opted for dinner at Outback and a strip club visit.
We went to our favorite club, and after presenting them with our free admission coupons, we settled down at our favorite table and watched the girl onstage go through the motions. She was a very unattractive girl with one of the WORST boob jobs ever, and I sighed, thinking it was going to be an early night.
Hubman: We arrived to find only 3 or 4 other customers in the club and only a few girls in sight, despite the 3/4 full parking lot. How bad was this girls boob job? As she was moving around on stage, this big ripple kept appearing on the underside of her boob that was visible from 15 feet away. I was almost tempted to ask who her plastic surgeon was so Veronica could avoid him, if she ever goes through with her desire to get her boobs done.
Veronica: Thankfully the girls three song set ended and a new girl took her place who was very attractive, so I went up to the railing while Hubman watched. The leggy brunette who was dancing had a very devoted fan, who quickly spread a multitude of ones at his section of the rail. I almost left, but when the guy started wolf howling at the girl, I decided that I could NOT leave her alone.
The man then gives me a bunch of singles. I tell him that I am ok, and give the money back. He tries again. I tell him once again that I am fine and that my husband has all the cash I need. He gives the money to the stripper and walks off. Apparently, according to Hubman, he wanted me to give the money to the stripper and get to watch the girl-girl fun.
Hubman: I was laughing, watching this scene at the stage. There is polite, demure Veronica sitting back and watching the dancer, then there is this creepy dude lining up 15 0ne dollar bills and trying to get Veronica to give some of them to the dancer. Afterward Veronica said she didn’t know why he was doing that, I told her it’s because while the guys creepy, he’s no dummy and likes the idea of a girl checking out the strippers.
Veronica: We both had lap dances from a great stripper named Mya. She is a very pretty asian girl with a smokin’ hot body. She remembered us from our last visit. She sat and chatted with us for awhile and then I went to get a lap dance from her. She gives a fun lap dance as we chatted and she would continually blow raspberries on my cleavage. She is a very nice girl and I always enjoy my time with her, but I am still not sure how much touching I am permitted to do. During my dance Hubman comes up and tells her that its my birthday so I think I got some extra touching for that.
Trust me, my dear, you can get away with a lot more touching that you think you can, you’re a chick! And that’s precisely why I told Mya that Friday was your birthday, I figured that would get you an extra special dance.
Veronica: While I am having a dance from Mya, Hubman is being chatted up by a pretty stripper named Becky. She is working the pigtails. Mya also joins us and Hubman goes off for his dance with Mya while we talk. During the course of our conversation I learn that she is 19 and has a 3 month old and that she just got her GED and is hoping to go to school for an LPN. I was tempted to have a dance from her until I learned her age. I know that many strippers are young, but Hubman and I just get squicked out when we learn that they are old enough to technically be our daughter. However, her barely legal status did not seem to bother the other patrons.
Hubman: I don’t mind young at all, but yeah, 19 is a bit too young, we couldn’t even buy her a drink if we wanted to. But you have to admit, she was really cute! And those pigtails, the naughty thoughts pigtails inspire….
Veronica: In my strip club visits I have noticed on pretty consistent thing. The women with smaller breasts are usually good dancers while the larger breasted girls mostly walk from pole to pole and kind of stand there. So when I noticed a girl that was flat as a pancake, I jabbed Hubman and exclaimed, “Look she has no boobs, I bet she is going to be an awesome dancer.” And indeed she was.
I personally prefer my strippers to have a more wholesome look. I do not find lots of tattoos or piercings to be attractive. I also do not like the whole caked-on make-up look, especially if I am getting a lap dance as makeup stains can be a bitch to get out of your clothes. This girl comes up to the stage, and while I am sure there is a very pretty face there, you can’t see it under the inch of pancake she is wearing.
Hubman: You have to admit, bad tattoos and too much makeup aside, she had great tits!
Veronica: The makeup, the extensive tattooing did not bother her friend, who is leaning his head far over the railing and peering at the dancer so intently, you would think that the next winning powerball numbers were tattooed to her underboob and he was trying to copy them. He was also not being discreet about his continual adjustments (it was like a trainwreck, I could not look away) that I had to nickname him Mr. Sticky Pants.
There was also the girl I was avoiding. I had met her before at the club, and I just did not find her attractive and she was not a good conversationalist. When she was dancing she kept on beckoning to Hubman and I, and I kept on finding my glass and the table top incredibly fascinating.
Hubman: Some girls will get the hint if you’re not interested in interacting with them, this one didn’t, she really kept trying. And it’s nothing against her, just if we’re gonna drop a few 20′s on a stripper, it’s gonna be one we really find attractive.
Veronica: I did enjoy our evening at the strip club. Its always fun to sit in a relaxed atmosphere and chat with Hubman and the girls, and as someone who loves people watching, its a prime place to do it. And while I make fun of some of the girls, I have to give them their props as stripping is something I could not do for a living. Getting past my inability to dance, or my clumsiness, I would have a hard time with creepy, sticky people touching me. I would enjoy the conversations, but not the touching.
Hubman: While the strip clubs in MA aren’t half as fun as those in San Antonio (Veronica has to come with me the next time I have to go there for work!), it certainly makes for a fun and sexy date night!
One the way home we stopped at a secluded area I found, check out what happened there 
