Manners Matter

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Apr 182012
 

ESPECIALLY when you’re talking about fucking someone else’s spouse

Now of course manners always matter, saying please, thank you, holding doors for people, we all (okay, most of us!) know to do that. Navigating the open-marriage waters? There are some things you should do that are just plain good manners AND will help if you want a repeat experience!

Several years ago, I had my first experience hooking up with a blogger friend, without Veronica there with me. Veronica of course knew all about it, and there was some back-and-forth between them before I met up with her.  A day or two after the friend and I spent several hours fucking each other silly, she emailed Veronica

“Thank you for sharing hubman with me, that was awesome”

THAT is good manners!  Should I have the opportunity to meet up with this friend again, I know that Veronica would be cool with it, because Veronica knows that my friend appreciates her sharing me.

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Probably 6 months ago, an online friend was going to be spending some time in my area. We talked about getting together for dinner, one thing lead to another, and we planned to meet where there was also a hotel nearby.

Knowing that she and her hubby enjoy having someone join them together, but that she doesn’t typically play alone when away from home, I contacted him. I had a simple message- I wanted him to tell him “thank you”, even before she and I had met.

We ended up having to cancel meeting, family obligations intervened, but should the opportunity arise again, I’m confident he’d be cool with it, because he already knows I appreciate him sharing his wife.

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Good manners extends to swingers parties and clubs. I can recall Veronica initiating some fun with the male half of a couple who were hosting a party. I was sitting back and enjoying the view, of them and of action going on in the house. As Veronica sank to her knees and took his hard cock into her mouth, he looked at me and silently mouthed “this okay?” to me.  I just nodded and smiled, that was all he need to know it was okay with me.

Later that night, he walked passed me and discretely said “thanks man”. That’s good manners!

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Why did these thoughts occur to me today?

Earlier today I was texting with a friend, she lives somewhere in our general area, we’ve had fun with her before, and have had non-naked fun with her several times as well. The three of us are definitely friends first, a little naked fun once in a while is just a nice part of our relationship.

For the first time, she and I are planning on getting together without Veronica.

As we were texting, she also texted Veronica, to make sure it’s okay with her.  Again, that’s good manners!

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The moral of the story? If someone shares their husband or wife with you, be thankful! Consensual non-monogamy isn’t easy nor should it be taken for granted, a little common courtesy goes a long way.

*Especially* if you hope to fuck that person again someday!

 Swinging  7 Responses »

101/365 Divider

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Apr 102012
 

When I first set up this divider, it was to create a visual barrier between the kids playroom on the left and the room on the right.  Why? Because the room on the right is where the futon is and where we entertain certain friends :-)

Now? It’s coming in handy as a divider between Darling Boy’s “bedroom” and Princess Persistent’s “bedroom”, since this is where they’re sleeping while the bedroom floors are being refinished this week

18-105mm lens @ 52mm, 1/3 sec @ f/5.0, ISO 800

 Pictures  No Responses »

Shit Swingers Say

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Mar 122012
 

Ivey Lane (remember her? she’s alive and doing quite well) sent me this link today.  It is spot-on, I swear Veronica and I have said probably 75% of the things mentioned in this.

Sit back, relax for 5 minutes, and laugh at the shit swingers like us say!

 

 Swinging  6 Responses »

Apropos of Nothing

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Mar 062012
 

Time to empty my head of random thoughts bouncing around…

You would think that if we met a couple and fucked them not once but twice, they would recognize us, right?

You would be wrong.

Veronica and I have profiles on 2 different swingers sites. While we have different user names, it’s still us- many of the same pictures are used on both profiles and the text is damn-near identical.  I really couldn’t do much except shake my head at the message we got the other day from Jack and Carla- we had met them thru Swappernet, this message was on Swinglifestyle.

“Hey there, couldn’t resist contacting you guys, we really like your profile and hope to hear back from you”

It’s only been 5 months, have they forgotten about fucking us already? Geez, I guess we didn’t make much of an impression…

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Here’s a scary game – is the quote from Rick Santorum or The Grand Ayatollah of Iran?

It’s surprisingly, and frighteningly, difficult.

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Are you a slut? A handy inter-active flowchart from Mother Jones

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Our beagle isn’t half as entertaining as this pup!

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Veronica and I are seriously thinking about taking a break from swinging for a while. I brought up the idea the other day, I’ve grown frustrated with trying to find couples.  When we stopped to think about the last time we swapped with a couple and afterwards we both thought “wow, I can’t wait to see them again”. It’s been a year, there was one couple last August who were fun, but they turned out to be better at creating drama.

I wouldn’t be surprised if we delete both of our profiles soon and just fresh once we’re settled in Maryland later this year.

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The bloody bar photo from Monday? That wasn’t me, it was from someone else, but thanks for the concern!

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Photography stuff….

Motivation for my Project 365 comes and goes. I’m blaming winter, it just feels like there aren’t as many opportunities and now that I’m into year 3, I’ve taken enough photos inside my home, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of which, this year should be a Project 366.  Oops

Anyone care to help me figure out how to set up a sub-domain?  I’ve been thinking about creating one for all of my photography, but I don’t have a clue where to start. I did some Googling and frankly I couldn’t understand half of what people were talking about.

I should write a post about my 2 weeks with a rented Nikon D700.

My participation in Wanton Wednesday and Sinful Sunday is sporadic. Some days I wonder what I’m doing and if people really want to see more of my naked_______.

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A happy thought to finish off this post-

 Life  7 Responses »

How we got here, part 2

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Feb 202012
 

For part 1, you have to turn the way-back machine to January 3, 2009. I started blogging in September of 2008, with the original Hubman’s Hangout hosted on Blogger.  Around that same time, a series of events lead Veronica to open our marriage and experiment with swinging after 18 years of monogamy.  I deleted that original blog after a few months because I felt I was careless and over-shared some personal details about my life and more importantly, about my work. Veronica and I wrote “How we got here” to recap the path we took from 18 years of monogamy to experimenting with and enjoying the swinging lifestyle.

A common question we get from new online friends is “how did you and Veronica decide to have an open marriage?” and I often direct people to that post. However, that only tells part of the story, because up until that time everything we had done was as a couple, there was never any thought of us playing separately.

There are bits and pieces of the story scattered throughout the last 3 years of this blog, so think of this as the Reader’s Digest condensed version of the story.

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I’ve had several opportunities to meet blogging friends during the course of my travels for work. Throughout the spring and summer of 2009 an online friend in the south and I were becoming pretty good friends (and we still are, in fact, I was in touch with her just last week). I knew that she was married but unhappy with her complete lack of a sex life and that she had some extra-marital partners in the past. As we got to know each other better, the sexual chemistry between us became increasingly obvious and we talked about meeting up someday, which was possible because I had an on-going project at a work site in her area.

Veronica knew all about my chats with this woman and I talked with her about possibly taking a little time during a trip to see her. This would, and at the same time would not be, something new. Another online friend of ours was Southern Vixen, whom we’ve written about numerous times (her blog is gone, so no links). Veronica, SoVix and I had a long weekend together in Miami (link to one of my mostest favorite HNT posts) in January 2009, and that spring and early summer I saw SoVix alone a couple of times.  Veronica was comfortable with me seeing SoVix alone, because she was her friend too, this wasn’t a relative stranger to her.

In September 2009 I added a personal day to a trip to my friends area and we spent 4 memorable hours trying to fuck each others brains out. It was fantastic! Oh, I just realized, those rotating header images you see at the top of this page? She took one of those that day :-)

A day or two later, my friend emailed Veronica, to thank her for sharing me with her and to say what a great time she had with me.

Veronica LOVED it, she (unexpectedly, I think) found herself getting turned on by her husband satisfying another woman.

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Over the course of the next year, I had the opportunity to meet and play with some other online friends, one relatively local and some others who lived in areas I was traveling to for work. February of 2010 found us in another new situation, I was making a trip for the sole purpose of meeting a friend I knew through twitter. I was going to join her and her husband for their first MFM experience, in fact this would be their first experience having anyone join them in bed.

As an aside, a recent conversation with another friend reminded me of the difference between perception and reality. She suspected that I often traveled to meet up with online friends. The reality is, I’ve made a solo overnight trip just 5 times in the last 2+ years, when the sole purpose of that trip was to spent time with a friend.

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In the summer of 2010 I had to go away for work for 10 weeks. With the experiences and adventures of the last year in mind, Veronica and I decided that we’d each have the freedom to purpose other partners while we were apart, without the usual obligation of keeping each other informed of what was going on, at least not right away. I set up a profile on AFF and met a couple of women, I was very up front about being in an open marriage and having the freedom to play while Veronica and I were apart.

A favorite story, featured as the Wanton Wednesday post It started with a tweet, happened at the end of that trip :-)

That time apart set the stage for my creating an Ashley Madison profile in January 2011, which of course led to my year-long relationship with Katie.

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Veronica continued, and still continues, to get turned on by my playing with others, without her involvement.

So what about her, why doesn’t she play alone you ask?  If she wanted too, she absolutely could, I would welcome it if she decided that she wanted to give being a hotwife a try. While I was away for 10 weeks, she was simply too busy/tired/stressed/etc being a single mom to 2 kids and working full time, so she didn’t bother.

Veronica describes herself as “flypaper for freaks”, if there’s an oddball character out there, they’ll find her. She enjoys watching procedural and crime dramas (trivia time- “Veronica” is an alias, she created it when she was active on a website about the TV show Criminal Minds and kept using the name when she started blogging).  Couple those 2 facts together, and she’s very reluctant to go out on her own and see someone that she met online.

It’s an admittedly unconventional arrangement, but it works for us.

Will there ever be a part 3 to this tale? Only time will tell.

[I wrote this while Veronica is in NY with the kids, visiting family. She may add her own $0.02 once she returns later today]

 Open Marriage  5 Responses »

Swing Shift Volume 48- From Jealousy to Compersion

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Jan 302012
 

In the 3+ years that Veronica and I have been swinging and then progressed to an open marriage, I’ve never had jealousy issues with her enjoying other partners.  Oddly enough though, I have experienced feelings of jealousy with other partners.

Long-time readers may remember SwingerWife. She and her hubby had a blog, which I came across before Veronica and I ever had our first full-swap experience (or before I even had a blog, now that I think of it!). We struck up a friendship and they became long-distance mentors to us, later we met up and had a memorable weekend of sexy fun.  Shortly before we all met, she and her husband decided to open their marriage and see people separately. To this day I can remember her calling me barely 5 minutes after “Chad” left her house after they first time they fucked, and how excited I was to hear about it.

Once she and I had our fun together, it changed for me, I wasn’t comfortable hearing about her latest adventures with him. It got to the point where I told her I didn’t want to hear any details, and that I wouldn’t be reading any blog posts about him.

Was it jealousy? I’m not sure, but I think it was, and it was a foreign feeling to me, especially since I wasn’t experiencing any jealously with Veronica.

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Fast forward to this fall, I had a little getaway with a Twitter friend, we spent 2 memorable nights together.  Since then, she and I have each had fun with other partners and have shared some details of those adventures with each other.

A week or so ago, she had a little getaway with another friend of hers. Unlike 3 years ago when I couldn’t handle hearing SwingerWife’s adventures, this time around I’m genuinely happy that my friend had so much fun and can’t wait to hear the dirty details.

What’s different? Is it the benefit of experience and growing emotionally and mentally as a swinger?

Your guess is as good as mine, all I know is that I couldn’t be happier the swinging adventures that Veronica and I share, and that we share with our friends :-)

Veronica: In my opinion I think that your ‘jealousy’ with Swingerwife was just being new with the whole swinging/open marriage concept, and now that you have experience with sharing, it’s less of an issue.  I also think that we have not experienced jealousy with each other because we are both very secure in our primary relationship, and we follow up with each other so much on how we are feeling about our experiences.

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This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 Swing Shift  6 Responses »

A Tale of Two Swaps

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Jan 192012
 

[Veronica suggested "A Tale of Two Fucks" for a title, I overruled her. Like I'm that crude ;-) ]

Three plus years into our swinging adventures, of course I know that chemistry is equal important, if not more so, as physical attraction. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when in one weekend that importance is so clearly illustrated for me.

Tammy, object of my fantasies for quite some time. Before we even contacted them, I’d browse their profile pics and think about getting my hands on her. Tall, oh-so pretty, great figure, she’s a delight to look at from head to toe.

Veronica and I met Tammy and Chuck at a bar close to their place.  We grabbed a table, ordered a round of drinks and started to get to know each other. As it turns out we have a number of mutual friends in the lifestyle, not necessarily people we fucked but at least know from parties.  After an hour or so, a loud and not-very-good blues band started playing, which really put a damper on the conversation. We were all enjoying ourselves, so they invited us back to their house.

Looking back, I suppose I should have seen it coming. I enjoyed Tammy’s company, she was every bit as attractive in person, but there just wasn’t a spark of desire there. I certainly enjoyed all that we did together, plus watching her and Veronica play with each, watching Veronica fuck and get fucked by Chuck and for the first time ever seeing Veronica take another man’s load in her mouth.

At the end of the night, it was certainly a good night, but not the great night I was hoping for.

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24 hours later and we’re out again, heading to Lisa and Ed’s house. They had contacted us, my first impression was that she was attractive, nice figure, but not Tammy-hot. I’m an optimist though, so I headed out with a ‘let’s have fun and see what happens” attitude.

They’ve got a great finished basement, bar area, couches and a pool table. We spend quite a bit of time chatting, drinking, and shooting pool. And flirting, Tammy was quite the flirt, casting glances my way, randomly grabbing me, sneaking a kiss now and then. It was fun and most definitely arousing.

Pool becomes strip pool, which leads to more flirting, touching, and arousal. Off to the hot tub we all go, more touching, the girls really get into each other (no pun intended!), then back into the house to continue to fun.

The girls continue, Ed and I join in as we see fit, sometimes watching, sometimes playing.  I seem to remember all 4 of us connected in some fashion, but honestly I can’t recall the exact details!

Eventually I reach the point where my orgasm is imminent, Lisa encourages me to pull out and come on her, which of course I’m more than happy to do. She presented herself to Veronica, who eagerly uses her mouth to clean up the mess I made.

Gotta love when there’s attraction AND chemistry!!

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Veronica: I had a very good time with both couples.

Chuck and Tammy were definitely more of the ‘we all know why we’re here, lets get down to business’ type, which I don’t mind.   I think that Hubman enjoys the flirting and the teasing, and the buildup as much as the actual fucking, and that was not something Chuck and Tammy provided.   However they had just come back from a long day with a bit of travel, so I think that flirting and teasing would simply be part of relationship building with them.

I also found Tammy really hot, and Chuck was attractive as well.  Plus he was a math geek, which I find pretty sexy.  All in all, I would absolutely fuck them again.  Another big plus with Chuck and Tammy is that they live about 20 minutes away from us.  Close enough to easily do a booty call, far away enough that we don’t run into them everywhere.

Ed and Lisa were also a great couple, and I connected pretty well with Lisa.  She had a great sense of humor and was very attractive.  And while I was attracted to and enjoyed fucking Ed, I did not feel a huge connection to him.  He was a little on the bossy side for my tastes.  I would definitely have sex with the two of them again, as I think that his being bossier than I prefer is a communication issue that can be worked through.

All I can say that any weekend where I fuck five people is a really good weekend.

 

 

 

 Fucking, Open Marriage  8 Responses »

TMI Tuesday – Who Do?

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Jan 172012
 

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

(Grammatically, some of these questions suck, so I’m answering them how I think the writer intended)

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

There’s a generic answer for almost all of these questions – Veronica, of course!!

1. Play naked twister with?

You, and you, and you…
They know who they are, the rest of you can wonder ;-)

2. Love?

The kids are the love of my life, after Veronica. Outside of other family, there are several friends I’ve grown close enough to and care so much about that I love them, in a platonic kind of way (even if I have had sex with some of them!)

3. Excites you beyond belief?

My mother-in-law, when she visits. Why? Because she *always* offers to watch the kids so we can have an overnight getaway. If she only knew what we did!

4. Enjoy ass play with?

Well I *do* enjoy ass play with Veronica on a fairly regular basis. Probably the thing I miss the most about fucking Katie is the anal sex, I was her first and she quickly grew to love and ask for it frequently.  Maybe I’ll try to entice her back into my bed sometime before we move this summer…

5. Shower with?

I can’t remember the last time I showered with someone else. Wait, I take that back, a few years ago Southern Vixen (no link, her blog is gone) and I showered together in a hotel room in Atlanta.

Could I be enticed to join Veronica, or someone else, in a shower? Of course!!

6. Undress?

Oh, just several dozen of you ;-)

7. Rim?

As much as I love anal sex, I’m not really interested in rimming. There was one time last year when I was inspired and dove in to eat Katie’s ass, she was surprised but enjoyed it, it was fun for me but it’s not something where I ever think “damn, it’s been too long since I’ve rimmed someone”

8. Elope with?

Sorry, I’m already (permanently) taken.
Now if we’re talking an overnight getaway, there are a couple of friends who just have to tell me when!

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why?

There a long-distance online friend I’m enjoying getting to know, she knows who she is, and that I’d like to wake up next to her someday.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 TMI Tuesday  7 Responses »

Sinful Sunday – Bulge

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Jan 082012
 

The previous nights adventures were still on my mind when I awoke in the morning…

Sinful Sunday, where it’s all about the image. Click the button to see who else is playing

Sinful Sunday

 Sinful Sunday  12 Responses »

Good Hosts, Part III

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Sep 082011
 

[Parts I and II of the story are here and here.]

After we had to cancel on Jack and Carla a week ago due to Hurricane Irene and my sister coming to stay with us, I was anxious to see them again. I was disappointed that I lost my erection and didn’t finish with her last time and was eager to show her just how attracted I was to her.

I also had a question for her.

Several weeks ago on Twitter I wondered why someone would write in their profile that anal play was off limits then show multiple photos of anal penetration in their private gallery. What I haven’t mentioned until now what that is was Carla and Jack’s profile I was talking about.

They arrived at our house a little past nine, which is Darling Boy’s bedtime. We told him that friends were coming over and not to be confused if he heard other voices.  We chatted with Carla and Jack for an hour or so, well past the time we expected DB to be asleep by, then showed them the way downstairs to our playspace.

While kissing Carla, I whisper my question in her ear.

“I love anal, but Jack says it’s for him only. I’d like to try it with others”

I file that nugget away for future reference and we continue undressing each other. Side-by-side, Veronica and Carla are sitting on the futon and sucking off Jack and I. Side-by-side, Veronica and Carla lay back and Jack and I go down on them. It’s synchronized sex!

The futon isn’t quite roomy enough, so once Jack climbs on and starts fucking Veronica, Carla and I decide to move to the floor.

Would you like to start on your back or would you like me to take you from behind?

“Oh I love doggie style, let’s do that!”

I love her enthusiasm! She gets on her knees, I roll on a condom (my preferred brand AND size this time!) and slide right in. Our basement has recessed lights in the ceiling, as it happens we are right under one, it’s like a spotlight on our fucking :-)

I graze a finger over her backdoor, lingering and gently pressing for just a moment.

How’s that, is that okay? I whisper in her ear.

“Oh yes, that’s perfectly okay! A finger would be fine, he won’t mind that”

We fuck for a while, occasionally I’ll slide a spit-lubed finger into her ass and soon enough I feel that familiar sensation building. I tell her to lay flat on her tummy and push her ass into the air. Picking up the pace, I whisper some evil thoughts in her ear and we collapse in a sweaty heap on the floor. We lay there chatting, since Veronica and Jack are still fucking on the futon.

“Has she even been DP’d?”

I answer her question, telling her about our attempt with some swinger friends, her strap-on fun with the unicorn that they also fucked, and I tell her about my experience joining another couple.

“I’d love to try that someday. I’ll have to talk to Jack about making that happen, maybe with you”

Soon after, Veronica and Jack finish up, we chit-chat for a while, then they get dressed and go on their way, they have a 40 minute drive home.

They’re probably not even out of our driveway when I ask Veronica “Did you enjoy yourself tonight sweetie?”

“Well….”

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Veronica: And this is the part where I sound like a picky bitch.   Now as some of you may know Hubman is a big man.  I like the fact that he is a big man.  I like my cocks on the larger side.  And sadly, Jack has a rather small penis.  He is good at oral, but I do not want oral every time I have sex, as I am pretty phallic centered.

I did enjoy the 1st time we had sex because of the novelty of a different person, but without the novelty, the second time was not as enjoyable, and I could not imagine enjoying subsequent visits more than I enjoyed the 2nd time. (Hmm, novelty in the lifestyle, I sense a future Swing Shift post.)  I feel bad because he does have a great personality and he is a lot of fun, but I just don’t think that he is going to rock my world in bed if we meet a third time.

I end up feeling bad as Hubman enjoyed Carla, and I get frustrated with trying for find a couple where all 4 of us are satisfied, over and over.  However, I know that couple (or single woman!) is out there and and we will find and have lots of naughty fun with them.

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Oh well, so much for seeing Carla again….

 Swinging  9 Responses »
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