In the 3+ years that Veronica and I have been swinging and then progressed to an open marriage, I’ve never had jealousy issues with her enjoying other partners.  Oddly enough though, I have experienced feelings of jealousy with other partners.

Long-time readers may remember SwingerWife. She and her hubby had a blog, which I came across before Veronica and I ever had our first full-swap experience (or before I even had a blog, now that I think of it!). We struck up a friendship and they became long-distance mentors to us, later we met up and had a memorable weekend of sexy fun.  Shortly before we all met, she and her husband decided to open their marriage and see people separately. To this day I can remember her calling me barely 5 minutes after “Chad” left her house after they first time they fucked, and how excited I was to hear about it.

Once she and I had our fun together, it changed for me, I wasn’t comfortable hearing about her latest adventures with him. It got to the point where I told her I didn’t want to hear any details, and that I wouldn’t be reading any blog posts about him.

Was it jealousy? I’m not sure, but I think it was, and it was a foreign feeling to me, especially since I wasn’t experiencing any jealously with Veronica.

===========================

Fast forward to this fall, I had a little getaway with a Twitter friend, we spent 2 memorable nights together.  Since then, she and I have each had fun with other partners and have shared some details of those adventures with each other.

A week or so ago, she had a little getaway with another friend of hers. Unlike 3 years ago when I couldn’t handle hearing SwingerWife’s adventures, this time around I’m genuinely happy that my friend had so much fun and can’t wait to hear the dirty details.

What’s different? Is it the benefit of experience and growing emotionally and mentally as a swinger?

Your guess is as good as mine, all I know is that I couldn’t be happier the swinging adventures that Veronica and I share, and that we share with our friends :-)

Veronica: In my opinion I think that your ‘jealousy’ with Swingerwife was just being new with the whole swinging/open marriage concept, and now that you have experience with sharing, it’s less of an issue.  I also think that we have not experienced jealousy with each other because we are both very secure in our primary relationship, and we follow up with each other so much on how we are feeling about our experiences.

===========================================================

This is where we ask for feedback- do you have experiences you’d like to share? Disagree with anything that we’ve said?  Have we overlooked anything that you’d like to point out?  That’s what the comments section is for, so don’t be shy!!

Swing Shift started in June of 2009 in response to questions we received from readers interested in swinging and open relationships.  When we started swinging we had on-line friends who were our mentors, helping us navigate the open waters.  These posts are our way of paying it forward and sharing our lessons learned.  If you have a topic suggestion or question for a future Swing Shift, contact me at hubman38@gmail.com and indicate if you’d prefer to remain anonymous or not.  The full archives can be found here.

 

[Veronica suggested "A Tale of Two Fucks" for a title, I overruled her. Like I'm that crude ;-) ]

Three plus years into our swinging adventures, of course I know that chemistry is equal important, if not more so, as physical attraction. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when in one weekend that importance is so clearly illustrated for me.

Tammy, object of my fantasies for quite some time. Before we even contacted them, I’d browse their profile pics and think about getting my hands on her. Tall, oh-so pretty, great figure, she’s a delight to look at from head to toe.

Veronica and I met Tammy and Chuck at a bar close to their place.  We grabbed a table, ordered a round of drinks and started to get to know each other. As it turns out we have a number of mutual friends in the lifestyle, not necessarily people we fucked but at least know from parties.  After an hour or so, a loud and not-very-good blues band started playing, which really put a damper on the conversation. We were all enjoying ourselves, so they invited us back to their house.

Looking back, I suppose I should have seen it coming. I enjoyed Tammy’s company, she was every bit as attractive in person, but there just wasn’t a spark of desire there. I certainly enjoyed all that we did together, plus watching her and Veronica play with each, watching Veronica fuck and get fucked by Chuck and for the first time ever seeing Veronica take another man’s load in her mouth.

At the end of the night, it was certainly a good night, but not the great night I was hoping for.

====================

24 hours later and we’re out again, heading to Lisa and Ed’s house. They had contacted us, my first impression was that she was attractive, nice figure, but not Tammy-hot. I’m an optimist though, so I headed out with a ‘let’s have fun and see what happens” attitude.

They’ve got a great finished basement, bar area, couches and a pool table. We spend quite a bit of time chatting, drinking, and shooting pool. And flirting, Tammy was quite the flirt, casting glances my way, randomly grabbing me, sneaking a kiss now and then. It was fun and most definitely arousing.

Pool becomes strip pool, which leads to more flirting, touching, and arousal. Off to the hot tub we all go, more touching, the girls really get into each other (no pun intended!), then back into the house to continue to fun.

The girls continue, Ed and I join in as we see fit, sometimes watching, sometimes playing.  I seem to remember all 4 of us connected in some fashion, but honestly I can’t recall the exact details!

Eventually I reach the point where my orgasm is imminent, Lisa encourages me to pull out and come on her, which of course I’m more than happy to do. She presented herself to Veronica, who eagerly uses her mouth to clean up the mess I made.

Gotta love when there’s attraction AND chemistry!!

====================

Veronica: I had a very good time with both couples.

Chuck and Tammy were definitely more of the ‘we all know why we’re here, lets get down to business’ type, which I don’t mind.   I think that Hubman enjoys the flirting and the teasing, and the buildup as much as the actual fucking, and that was not something Chuck and Tammy provided.   However they had just come back from a long day with a bit of travel, so I think that flirting and teasing would simply be part of relationship building with them.

I also found Tammy really hot, and Chuck was attractive as well.  Plus he was a math geek, which I find pretty sexy.  All in all, I would absolutely fuck them again.  Another big plus with Chuck and Tammy is that they live about 20 minutes away from us.  Close enough to easily do a booty call, far away enough that we don’t run into them everywhere.

Ed and Lisa were also a great couple, and I connected pretty well with Lisa.  She had a great sense of humor and was very attractive.  And while I was attracted to and enjoyed fucking Ed, I did not feel a huge connection to him.  He was a little on the bossy side for my tastes.  I would definitely have sex with the two of them again, as I think that his being bossier than I prefer is a communication issue that can be worked through.

All I can say that any weekend where I fuck five people is a really good weekend.

 

 

 

 

Happy TMI Tuesday. Let’s play Hoo Doo (Who Do?). Answer the following questions and elaborate as you wish. Your answers can be real and truthful, fun and flirty, or crazy and whacky.

(Grammatically, some of these questions suck, so I’m answering them how I think the writer intended)

Who or Who(m) do you want to:

There’s a generic answer for almost all of these questions – Veronica, of course!!

1. Play naked twister with?

You, and you, and you…
They know who they are, the rest of you can wonder ;-)

2. Love?

The kids are the love of my life, after Veronica. Outside of other family, there are several friends I’ve grown close enough to and care so much about that I love them, in a platonic kind of way (even if I have had sex with some of them!)

3. Excites you beyond belief?

My mother-in-law, when she visits. Why? Because she *always* offers to watch the kids so we can have an overnight getaway. If she only knew what we did!

4. Enjoy ass play with?

Well I *do* enjoy ass play with Veronica on a fairly regular basis. Probably the thing I miss the most about fucking Katie is the anal sex, I was her first and she quickly grew to love and ask for it frequently.  Maybe I’ll try to entice her back into my bed sometime before we move this summer…

5. Shower with?

I can’t remember the last time I showered with someone else. Wait, I take that back, a few years ago Southern Vixen (no link, her blog is gone) and I showered together in a hotel room in Atlanta.

Could I be enticed to join Veronica, or someone else, in a shower? Of course!!

6. Undress?

Oh, just several dozen of you ;-)

7. Rim?

As much as I love anal sex, I’m not really interested in rimming. There was one time last year when I was inspired and dove in to eat Katie’s ass, she was surprised but enjoyed it, it was fun for me but it’s not something where I ever think “damn, it’s been too long since I’ve rimmed someone”

8. Elope with?

Sorry, I’m already (permanently) taken.
Now if we’re talking an overnight getaway, there are a couple of friends who just have to tell me when!

Bonus: Who do you want to wake up in the arms of? Why?

There a long-distance online friend I’m enjoying getting to know, she knows who she is, and that I’d like to wake up next to her someday.

————-

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 

The previous nights adventures were still on my mind when I awoke in the morning…

Sinful Sunday, where it’s all about the image. Click the button to see who else is playing

Sinful Sunday

Sep 082011
 

[Parts I and II of the story are here and here.]

After we had to cancel on Jack and Carla a week ago due to Hurricane Irene and my sister coming to stay with us, I was anxious to see them again. I was disappointed that I lost my erection and didn’t finish with her last time and was eager to show her just how attracted I was to her.

I also had a question for her.

Several weeks ago on Twitter I wondered why someone would write in their profile that anal play was off limits then show multiple photos of anal penetration in their private gallery. What I haven’t mentioned until now what that is was Carla and Jack’s profile I was talking about.

They arrived at our house a little past nine, which is Darling Boy’s bedtime. We told him that friends were coming over and not to be confused if he heard other voices.  We chatted with Carla and Jack for an hour or so, well past the time we expected DB to be asleep by, then showed them the way downstairs to our playspace.

While kissing Carla, I whisper my question in her ear.

“I love anal, but Jack says it’s for him only. I’d like to try it with others”

I file that nugget away for future reference and we continue undressing each other. Side-by-side, Veronica and Carla are sitting on the futon and sucking off Jack and I. Side-by-side, Veronica and Carla lay back and Jack and I go down on them. It’s synchronized sex!

The futon isn’t quite roomy enough, so once Jack climbs on and starts fucking Veronica, Carla and I decide to move to the floor.

Would you like to start on your back or would you like me to take you from behind?

“Oh I love doggie style, let’s do that!”

I love her enthusiasm! She gets on her knees, I roll on a condom (my preferred brand AND size this time!) and slide right in. Our basement has recessed lights in the ceiling, as it happens we are right under one, it’s like a spotlight on our fucking :-)

I graze a finger over her backdoor, lingering and gently pressing for just a moment.

How’s that, is that okay? I whisper in her ear.

“Oh yes, that’s perfectly okay! A finger would be fine, he won’t mind that”

We fuck for a while, occasionally I’ll slide a spit-lubed finger into her ass and soon enough I feel that familiar sensation building. I tell her to lay flat on her tummy and push her ass into the air. Picking up the pace, I whisper some evil thoughts in her ear and we collapse in a sweaty heap on the floor. We lay there chatting, since Veronica and Jack are still fucking on the futon.

“Has she even been DP’d?”

I answer her question, telling her about our attempt with some swinger friends, her strap-on fun with the unicorn that they also fucked, and I tell her about my experience joining another couple.

“I’d love to try that someday. I’ll have to talk to Jack about making that happen, maybe with you”

Soon after, Veronica and Jack finish up, we chit-chat for a while, then they get dressed and go on their way, they have a 40 minute drive home.

They’re probably not even out of our driveway when I ask Veronica “Did you enjoy yourself tonight sweetie?”

“Well….”

===========================

Veronica: And this is the part where I sound like a picky bitch.   Now as some of you may know Hubman is a big man.  I like the fact that he is a big man.  I like my cocks on the larger side.  And sadly, Jack has a rather small penis.  He is good at oral, but I do not want oral every time I have sex, as I am pretty phallic centered.

I did enjoy the 1st time we had sex because of the novelty of a different person, but without the novelty, the second time was not as enjoyable, and I could not imagine enjoying subsequent visits more than I enjoyed the 2nd time. (Hmm, novelty in the lifestyle, I sense a future Swing Shift post.)  I feel bad because he does have a great personality and he is a lot of fun, but I just don’t think that he is going to rock my world in bed if we meet a third time.

I end up feeling bad as Hubman enjoyed Carla, and I get frustrated with trying for find a couple where all 4 of us are satisfied, over and over.  However, I know that couple (or single woman!) is out there and and we will find and have lots of naughty fun with them.

===========================

Oh well, so much for seeing Carla again….

 

This was paired with the Date Night Bra, (partly) seen on Day 205. We had a fabulous time with some new friends on Friday night :-)

18-105mm lens at 45 mm, 1/5 sec at f/4.8, ISO 1600

Aug 142011
 

Even better in bed.
Or should I say, better on the floor? That would be more accurate :-)

Oh wait, I’m getting ahead of the story, we haven’t even introduced them yet.

Veronica and I were waaay overdue for a fun night with another couple, it had literally been over almost a year, since our anniversary weekend in Dallas last summer.  There was Sandy and John (and his monster cock) last December, but I was more a spectator than a participant that night. In March there was Lynn and John who we introduced here but we never wrote the follow-up post about the second date.  The sex was VERY good but they’re a separate-room-swap couple and it just isn’t the same for us that way.  Of course there’s Katie, she and I have been seeing each other for 6 months, but she hasn’t joined us for any FMF fun.

Bottom line, Veronica was more than ready for some girl-girl fun!

Veronica: Yes I was.  While we were coming off a dryspell, I think that things had just been soooo insane for us with work and travel that we had just not put the necessary effort into meeting people, so it was a dryspell by choice.

I like when Veronica says she’s “going shopping” and logs onto one of the swinger websites we have a profile on, that means she’s looking for a couple that catches her eye.  She knows my taste in women so I just wait for her to tell me who she contacted.

I saw the couple on one of our websites.  She had a cute figure and he was also nice looking.  After seeing their face pictures we learned that she had a sweet face and he kind of looked like Matthew Broderick.  My fantasy of fucking Ferris Beuller could finally come true.

I sent them an introduction email and we quickly escalated to opening up the private galleries and I soon offered them my phone number.  A week or so went by and we had not heard from them after they had sent an email saying that they wanted to meet us, so I sent another e-mail to follow up.    I am sometimes torn about the follow up email.  I don’t want to sound stalkerish.  However since they had indicated a desire to meet, I sent that follow up e-mail.  I am glad I did.  Jack and Carla had been extra busy with vacation and other obligations, and shortly after that e-mail Carla and I were texting and then chatting.

I had already organized a sitter for Friday night since we had originally thought we would go to a swinger party at an onsite club about an hour from our house.  When they suggested meeting for drinks on Friday night, it did not take much effort on my part to get Hubman to change his mind about going to a party.

Carla had heard about the place we were planning on going to and told us a little about it. Apparently they’re not very good about keeping it to a reasonable number of single guys and there were some concerns about maintaining a respectful and consensual atmosphere. Even though we had plans to meet a single woman there, we changed our plans based on what Carla had to say about the place.

Friday afternoon comes and Carla texts Veronica “Would you guys be interested in meeting somewhere closer to our house? We unexpectedly find ourselves kid-free tonight and we could head back there after meeting for drinks, if everyone wants to”

It certainly seemed like the night held some promise of a good time!

Now all we had to do was actually meet them and hope the chemistry was there. But you already know the answer to that.

To be continued…

Mar 092011
 

Waaaay back when Veronica and I started swinging, our first two swaps were in different rooms, she’d go off with him to one room, I’d go with her to another room.  Ever since then whenever we’ve swapped with another couple, it’s always been in the same room, often all 4 of us on the same bed.

Until we met Lynn and John…

====================================================

As soon as we sat down across from them in the restaurant, I knew I’d like her. I know I was attracted to her from her photos on the swingers website, tall, trim, athletic figure, pretty face, she definitely caught my eye.  And just like a few other women I’ve met in the last several months, she had fairly modest profile pictures. Her public pictures were of her in bikini panties and a bra, her private pictures showed her face.

Veronica: John was handsome with twinkly eyes that hinted at a wicked sense of humor (the hint was correct).  He was not much taller than I, maybe 5’6″ or 5’7″ but he owns his height and is comfortable with it.  I was actually happy to see that he was shorter than his wife, because that meant that he is a confident man.  He also had a solid, slightly stocky build, which I like, as I am not a fan of very thin men.  I like my lovers with some meat on their bones.

We talked about a variety of topics, as is often the case in the lifestyle we talked about past experiences and how we ended up where we are today. We learned that Lynn had experimented with girl-girl sex, at least being on the receiving end of oral sex, and learned that she really wasn’t into girls.  I suspect that Veronica was disappointed, but I also had a feeling that she liked John enough that it wasn’t a deal-breaker. They also shared that they prefer to swap in different rooms, again it wasn’t a deal breaker.

Veronica: Conversation flowed easily during dinner.  It turned out that we both have mischievous beagles and sarcastic senses of humor.  We were also both transplants to New England.  We share the stories of how we each came into the lifestyle, and Lynn explained that she is not into girls, and that they prefer separate rooms.  I was a little disappointed that there would be no girl play as I really enjoy it, but in a way its almost easier as we only have to have chemistry between me and John and between Hubman and Lynn.

I was right, I knew that Veronica would be disappointed in not getting the chance to play with Lynn!

They also let us know they prefer separate room swap.  John later explained that part of the reason is that Lynn had experienced pressure to participate in girl play in the past when they were in the same room and that the issue is avoided when they are in separate rooms.

I hadn’t thought about the girl-girl issue and how that might effect Lynn’s comfort level, that makes sense. I had remembered them talking about preferring to focus on their respective partners but now that Veronica mentions it, concerns about Lynn’s comfort level rings a bell.

When talking about our preferences it turns out that we both have the same rules about not playing on the 1st date, except when they don’t.  Apparently when they had a first date with another couple, John and the other woman could not wait and had a quickie in the bathroom.  So of course when Hubman and Lynn had to go to the bathroom around the same time, we had to tease them about behaving.

Yes, we behaved! But we had a good chuckle thinking about making Veronica and John suspect otherwise :-)

John gets up at early o’ clock for his job, so sadly the evening had to end.  We pay the bill and walk to the parking lot, when the 2nd major chemistry test of the night happens.  The good night kiss.  Lynn and I hugged and I turned my attention to John and Hubman turned his attention to Lynn.  Thankfully John was a good kisser who knew how to use his tongue to good effect.  He also gave me a butt squeeze, which I reciprocated.

I, however, just got a regular kiss on the mouth and no butt squeeze. Still, it was a very nice kiss.

Unfortunately it would take us almost a month and a half to finally get together a second time.

Veronica: We had some scheduling issues and my procedure put me out of commission for a few weeks.  However, as soon as I was cleared I sent John a text letting him know that I was cleared for action.  We had a second date scheduled for three days after that text.

For now, I’ll just say she was well worth the wait ;-)

Veronica: As was he ;-)

 

We have Janie!

Janie is one of the ladies who saw and responded to my Ashley Madison profile before I even had a chance to browse some profiles and contact anyone myself. So, who is this woman?

45 yrs old, 5’8″, 135 lbs, so far so good!

Attached, looking for some excitement that seems to be missing from home, checks off a ton of check-boxes on her profile but she also took the time to write a little bit about herself, which is encouraging. She’s a little further away than I’d prefer, 45 minutes or so, but I decide to pursue her and see what happens.

What’s this? She’s also given me the “key” to her “private showcase” and there are 2 face pictures. Hey, she’s really good looking!

We exchange a couple of messages on AM then share e-mail addresses, I share a slightly more revealing picture  of my face than I have in my profile and we exchange phone numbers. (Nobody ever did guess which of my HNT photos they thought I might be using for my private showcase.)

It’s a Thursday morning, I’m at work and she texts me, asking if I have a few minutes to talk. Sure, why not? I close my office door (yay for having my own office!) and give her a call.

I have to say, we spent about 15 minutes on the phone and the conversation flowed easily, she’s easy to chat with and seems comfortable hearing about the arrangement that Veronica and I have. She seemed concerned that maybe I was just looking for a woman to join Veronica and I, and while we’d certainly consider that, I tell her that’s not what we’re looking for, this is about me finding a friend with benefits. I told her that I was traveling the next day and would be away for a few days but that once I returned I would get in touch.

Maybe this is where I messed up…

After I got back, I kinda forgot about her for a few days, it ended up being a full week after we spoke until I contacted her again.

And got no reply.

I gave her a couple of days, then e-mailed her again, asking if her lack of response indicated a change of heart.

And got no reply to that e-mail either.

While I have her phone number, I don’t know if her hubby might see a text message from me or when would be a good time that I wouldn’t have to worry about causing trouble for her. I’ll have to be content with non-responses to my e-mails and move on.

Fortunately, behind curtain number 2 there’s Katie…

 

“I can’t ever see Veronica and I reaching a point where one of us stays home with the kids while the other one of us goes out on a date”

File that statement under “famous last words”. I’m not sure if I ever wrote those exact words somewhere, but I know that I had long felt that way. While it’s true that I’ve met and had some very enjoyable times with friends in the course of my travels for work, we always viewed that differently, since I was already away from home and it wasn’t taking away from family time.

With a few exceptions (my FWB in San Antonio, the former stripper that Slippery When Wet hooked me up with), most of these partners all have something in common- they’re married but sexually unsatisfied. Tangent time…

I realize that with the passage of years, people change, desires wax and wane, whatever.  There are all sorts of reasons why someone might choose to seek the pleasure of another without their spouses consent, and I don’t want this to read as a carte blanche condemnation of infidelity.

Read the rest of the post here.

That’s what I said, and almost 2 years later I still feel the same way. What’s more, if she’s cheating with me, that’s not my fault. If Veronica were to cheat on me, I would blame her, and I would blame myself, but not the man (or woman) she’s cheating on me with.

Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do.
Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they want to do already.

Back in early January when Veronica’s surgery was first scheduled, she brought up the idea of my finding a local playmate while she was out of commission for several weeks.  Isn’t she good to me?

Veronica: We had discussed it before then, as I had always been turned on by Hubman’s adventures.  Just like the husband of a hotwife gets turned on hearing about the adventures of his partner, I find it arousing that Hubman is able to share his sexual talents and tell me about it later.  Also, one of the things I like about our group encounters is the smell and taste of the other woman on Hubman, and if he limits his experiences to travel time, then I don’t get to enjoy that.  However, having sex with Hubman and getting a whiff of his other lover is pretty hot for me.

Its also been great that for the most part the women he has been with on the road have been so kind and thoughtful, even sending me a ‘thanks for sharing’ e-mail or phone call.

I am not worried about Hubman falling in love with another woman, because I really believe that the more love you send out into the universe, the more love comes back to you. (New Agey- I know.)

So this new phase of openness has been on the horizon for a while in the abstract, but having a multi-week ban on sex really gave us an impetus to put the plan in motion.

Back in January, on my birthday actually, I took this picture and teased you with the question of whether it was Veronica or I or both of us who were creating a profile on a particular dating site.

Now how to go about writing that profile? Stay tuned…

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