[I was browsing a webpage of euphemisms for penis and "heat seeking moisture missile" made me chuckle, so that's the title for this weeks cock-centric TMI Tuesday post!]
All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.
1. What’s more important – length or width? Why?
I think approximately 7″ long and approximately 5.5″ in circumference is the perfect compromise between the two.
Just sayin’…
2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
Nope, the only one I’ve ever handled is perfect
3. Best place to put a penis?
Someplace warm and wet. Add lube if necessary
4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?
The same things I do every day!
5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you
Oh yeah, like I’d be dumb enough to say I have a preference. All pussy is good pussy!
Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?
21+ yrs together and Veronica has never named my cock, though when she’s feeling silly she’ll occasionally refer to it as “the mighty love log”
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
Happy TMI Tuesday!
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Happy New Year from TMI Tuesday blog. I’ve enjoyed discovering and reading so many new blogs via TMI Tuesday. Thanks to all the players that submitted questions, themes or ideas in 2011. If you have questions you’d like to see answered for TMI Tuesday, please read the ABOUT page. Now here we go…the first TMI Tuesday questions for 2012:
1. Finish this sentence: In the New Year, as good as last year was, I hope this one is even better!
2. Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? If yes, what are they for 2012?
I haven’t made any resolutions this year. I’ve got a number of poorly defined goals in mind, but nothing concrete. I suppose how poorly I did with resolutions last year (see question 4) is making me hesitate. I really should suck it up and publicly commit to achieving some goals this year…
3. What New Year’s resolutions did you make last year?
- I’m going to publish a minimum of 3 peer-reviewed papers at work (the projects have been on-going, this won’t be as tough as it might sound)
- Those 10 lbs I gained? Goodbye!
- My best year riding was in 2006 when I rode 1875 miles. This year? 2000 is my goal!
- Less time online, between work and home I spend too much time looking at computer screens. I’ve already trimmed a number of blogs from my Google Reader subscriptions and have committed to less time on Twitter via my phone during the workday. I enjoy the time I spend online, but I need to re-prioritize how I spend that time.
- I’ve got a small pile of books by my bedside that I’m going to read, for starters. There’s also a pretty good sized pile of articles I’ve saved at work that I need to read for the various projects I’m working on.
- Complete Project365, Year 2
4. Think of three of those resolutions, from last year. How did you do in keeping them?
Oh wow, this is bad. Of those 6 goals, I only achieved 2 of them- I completed my 2nd year of Project365 and did a lot more off-line reading (yay for the iPad kindle app, I read 11 books on that plus about a half-dozen others).
Three papers published? A 3 month temp job assignment killed any chance of that, along with another project I was handed that won’t go away.
Fitness? Yup, still have those 10 lbs, plus another 5. Bike riding suffered too, part of that was due to long hours with the temp job, only rode about 1150 miles in 2011.
Less time online? That’s a continual challenge for me, I need to do better at ignoring the online world when I’m at work most of all. That would probably help with that publishing goal too!
5. What was your most memorable sexual happening/experience in 2011?
Oh wow, where to start, I had a number of partners besides Veronica, each of whom was memorable in her own way. I guess I have to start with Katie, the married-but-cheating woman I saw for about 6 months, it had to end, but the sex was damn good while it lasted. I traveled for a couple of nights of wonderful fun with another friend. After 3 years or so, I finally met up with a long time blogging friend in December (read the comments if you want to know who she is). And of course, there was Veronica’s 40th birthday treat, how could we possibly forget that?
I’m supposed to pick the *most* memorable from all that, and more? I don’t think so!
Bonus:What was your most memorable experience (activity, event, etc.) in 2011?
From a non-sex related perspective, 5 days in Stuttgart Germany followed by 3 days in Paris France has to be the most memorable! Photos from that week are here, here, here and here, if you’re interested. I had never been anywhere in Europe before, so it a fantastic week, even if I was there for work and Veronica couldn’t join me.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
For this week’s TMI Tuesday why don’t you tell us:
1. What was your favorite gift that you received (gift giving holidays Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or heck even if you had a birthday in the month of December that can count)?
The stuff from my mom was pretty cool, I also like the National Geographic photography book that I got.
2. What was the most practical gift that you received?
I got a pair of LL Bean flannel-lined denim jeans, super comfy AND warm, perfect for New England winters!
3. What was the silliest, most fun, crazy or impractical gift that you received?
Veronica got me a gift certificate to a men’s salon called “Knockouts”, apparently all of the women who work there are supposed to be pretty good looking. I see a little pampering in my future!
Naughty Santa brought me a nude photography book and a leather cock ring
4. If you had a special holiday meal, what was your favorite food?
Veronica made a big pan of lasagna, it was delicious!
Bonus: Share the recipe of your favorite food from the holiday meal.
She also made her famous egg nog poundcake, she posted the recipe on her blog last week.
Bonus, bonus: Whatcha doin’ for New Year’s Eve?
My mom is visiting all week, she’s not leaving until New Years Day. That means we have a free overnight sitter for New Years Eve, which means we’ve got a hotel room reserved and have RSVPd to a big ole swingers party
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
This time of year there are so many holidays and celebrations that overlap, which is why it is called Holiday Season.
1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it.
We celebrate Christmas in our home.
Veronica: I love celebrating Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday.
2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune?
Veronica: I love so many of them. One of my favorites is Barenaked Ladies “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
Watch and listen, but be careful, it’s definitely NSFW
3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:
- What’s the gift you most want?
- What do you think is the best gift you are giving?
I know I won’t get it, it’s WAAAAY outside our budget, but I’d love a Nikon24-70 f/2.8 lens. Too bad it it cost something like $1800
I’m fortunate, Veronica takes care of all of the gift-buying, all I have to do is buy for her (including stuff from the kids). If I were to answer this question, she’d know what I’m getting her, and we can’t have that!
Veronica: All I really want is for someone to buy our house next summer for the same amount we paid for it. But since that’s not happening, I am hoping for something sparkly.
The best gift I am giving? I got Hubman a really nice coat from LL Bean which he is wearing already. If I mention anything else, I ruin the surprise.
4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be?
With the kids and the ages they’re at, what we do is perfect, staying right at home. Christmas is typically a “pajama day” in our house. Now if we didn’t have the kids, somewhere nice and warm would be quite nice. Perhaps an island in the Caribbean?
Veronica: I have to agree with Hubman. I love our Christmas.
5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:
a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier.
b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms.
c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house.
d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve?
A.For the last 5 years or so we’ve insisted that our kids should be able to spend Christmas at home, and that family is most certainly welcome to join us. Due to distance and other family, no one has taken us up on our offer, it’s been just the 4 of us for Christmas day since we moved to MA in 2007.
But (isn’t there always a but?), let’s not go crazy with how much family. If you include Veronica’s step-father and his family, we’re easy adding 8-10 more people.
Veronica: A. I would love to host a big holiday, but distance means it probably won’t happen.
6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake?
People really give those as gifts? I don’t know anyone, myself included, who likes fruitcake.
Veronica: I think a crazy aunt gave me one once. I would rather give my Eggnog Poundcake as a gift.
Bonus: Share with us one of your holiday traditions.
For the last several years, Naughty Santa visits Veronica and I on Christmas eve. Did you see the click-thru pic in my Sinful Sunday post this week? Then you saw a gift from a couple of years ago
Veronica: We also go to church on Christmas Eve and then drive around looking at awesome Christmas lights. Then we put the kids in jammies and we read to them, culminating with “The Night Before Christmas”
Oh sure Veronica, I go with the naughty answer and you get all wholesome on me :-p
I have done this for a few years. Why? It never stops being fun and hilarious.
I invite you to elf yourself and if you can, post it on your blogs for TMI Tuesday.
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
1. You have been invited to a lingerie party at the Playboy Mansion. Do you accept? What do you wear?
Of course I accept, I think it would be fun to see the inside of the Playboy Mansion.
I think a thong and babydoll would look good on me, don’t you think? :-p
2. (for women) You have been invited to a private dinner at Godfather’s Pizza by Herman Cain.
(for men) The wife of a Fortune 500 CEO, reputed to have had extramarital relationships, invites you to a private dinner when the husband is out of town.
Do you accept? Why or why not?
Is she good looking?
What? Are there any other relevant questions? I don’t think so!
3. Charlie Sheen (for women) or Your favorite female porn star (for men) is making a movie in the city where you live. You happen to meet him/her, and he/she suggests you stop by his/her hotel for a drink?
Do you go?
I don’t have a favorite porn star. I’m not sure I’d accept even if I did, what we see on screen is acting, we have a distorted perspective of what they’re like. I prefer the girl (or mom) next door type
4. Your boss (of the opposite sex) who has been very flirty with you insists that when you’ve finished a project by working late or on a weekend you bring it by his/her house immediately?
Do you go? Yes or no. Do you go alone or take a friend along?
Yes, I do bring it to her house. However, for all of my manwhoring ways, I make sure to keep work and pleasure separate and would politely decline any overtures.
5. You’re working on a political campaign. Late one evening, you get a call from the campaign manager saying the candidate (of the opposite sex) would like to see you right away in his/her hotel room.
Do you go? Yes or no. Do you tell someone you are going there or keep it a secret? What do you wear?
Who’s to say that the candidate has naughty intentions? Maybe she just values my opinion that much and wants to discuss campaign strategy.
Or maybe she just wants me to fuck her. In that case, hell yes, politicians have been screwing us for years, now it’s payback! Hahahaha
Bonus:What’s the best invitation you’ve received? Why is it memorable?
When Veronica invited me to walk her home from a party on Sept 29, 1990. We’ve been together ever since
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
Umm…so…I was away last week. I did not work on TMI Tuesday. Therefore, what I’ve put together for this week’s TMI Tuesday has no rhyme or reason…LOL. But at least there’s a TMI Tuesday and a really cool movie to watch “Stop Making Sense” (It comes in– finally–around 20 seconds)
Stop Making Sense
Talking Heads video by Jonathan Demme – Stop Making Sense. Great film, great music. Click hereto enjoy.—————————
[I met Jonathan Demme once, nice guy....]
1. If you were a car, which one would you be? What are some of your best features?
Something boring and dependable but if you push it a little responds well. But what car would that be? I’m thinking a sport sedan of some kind. Suggestions?
2. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?
In the living room. No one sees the elephant in the room, right?
3. Finish this sentence: Tomorrow I absolutely refuse to….
Have sex with anyone except Veronica. That should be easy, no prospects out there.
Unless there’s something I don’t know
4. What is the longest period of time that you’ve gone without a shower?
On Sunday October 29 2006 my flight landed in Dakar Senegal. A week later on November 6 I came back out of the Sahara Desert and took the best shower of my life!
5. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone?
I have no idea. I can remember participating in some typical sleep-away camp pranks as a kid, shaving cream on a hand kind of stuff, but that’s it. I guess I’m not much of a prankster
Bonus: What is the best piece of gossip that you heard recently?
I feel like I’m often the last know, anything I have to share is probably common knowledge to everyone else…
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
This week’s TMI Tuesday theme is a culmination of weird, funny, and odd questions I have heard over the last month. They were crazy enough so I though they’d be perfect for TMI Tuesday.
Funny that I saw:
Someone has their priorities mixed up but clearly YOU don’t because you’re here playing TMI Tuesday. That’s very important
1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me _think of me, since I am one!___ ? (idea from PocketRockettz)
2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
a. Talent
b. Interview
c. Swimsuit
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)
Evening wear- I wear a tuxedo pretty well if I may say so myself! Good thing, since I’m not very talented in a performance sense, I often trip over my own tongue in interviews and this spare tire isn’t meant for a swimsuit.
3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?
Based on many of my Wanton Wednesday posts, I suspect that my ass might be considered eye candy by some of you
Veronica said “your penis is eye candy”, and she also said I don’t have any parts that are an eyesore. Really, she said that, I’m not making it up!
4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop
My penis is neither hooded (aka uncircumsized) nor crooked, so I guess I’m the straight laced detective.
5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee
Wet or dry dog food? The hell with it, the type of dog food doesn’t matter, I’d rather get shot in the knee!
I figure unless a nerve or major artery is hit, with rehab (and lots of painkillers!) a knee would be helaed in a lot less than an entire year. Of course, dog food is so unpalatable that it might not be a bad diet plan. Or maybe not
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out
d. Wash in employee sink
Really, this is a question? Turn ‘em inside out, of course!
No no no, I’m kidding! I’d go commando and leave a treat for the janitor in the bathroom garbage. Yuck…
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
In the United States Thanksgiving is this week, so a lot of folks will be cooking up a storm in preparation. Many other holidays will occur over the next month around the world and everyone seems to celebrate with food, hence, the TMI Tuesday theme…Cooking.
1. Haagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s?
Oh I LOVE Ben & Jerry’s!! A pint of New York Super Fudge Chuck or Peanut Butter Cup doesn’t stand a chance against me!
2. What is always in your refrigerator?
Nothing unusual, with 2 kids there’s always milk, eggs, juice, fruits and veggies, yogurt, etc. And beer, can’t forget the beer
3. What’s your worst kitchen disaster?
When we lived in our place in PA the linoleum floor in the kitchen was in really bad shape. I tried my best to remove it and replace it with peel-and-stick tile. There was water damage and what I should have done was replaced the sub-floor but…
Oh, not that kind of kitchen disaster? Veronica does 95% of the cooking, I can’t recall a cooking-related disaster on my part. Oh sure, I’ve overcooked pasta or didn’t cook something on the grill to my liking, but nothing that would rise to the level of disaster.
4. Favorite kitchen gadget?
The tuna press, so simple and useful. Lame, right? I bet Veronica would have a much better answer.
5. What was your last meal? Did you like it?
I’m drafting this on Monday evening, DB and I are on our own until we join Veronica and PP in NY for Thanksgiving. I took him to get his hair cut then we went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries. Of course we liked it!
6. What’s your favorite cookie?
Classic chocolate chip, feel free to add some M&Ms to the mix if you’d like.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
I have to admit, when I saw the subject, I was prepared to skip TMI Tuesday this week. I hate formspring, I’ve never had an account, never submitted a question to someone else, could never be bothered to read other peoples responses to questions.
That being said, I decided to play anyway
Today’s TMI Tuesday consist of Formspring questions pulled from around the Web. The NY Times called Formspring “An E-vite to Insults and Crude Queries.” I admit, I pulled the tame, less crude questions.
1. What is your favorite type of weather?
Give me clear blue skies and temps in the 80s any day! Honestly, any weather that encourages ladies to wear as little clothing as possible is fine by me!
2. How do you sustain the motivation and energy needed to write erotica regularly?
I don’t. Early on in my blogging I wrote some erotica- true tales, fiction, truth disguised as fiction. It didn’t take me long (but maybe too long for some people!) to realize that I’m just not a very good erotica writer, so I stopped.
3. Do you like roleplay? What is your favorite scenario?
It’s been a while since we’ve done any, but yes I do. Veronica was a theater major and she likes to dust off her acting skills once in a while. My favorite was when she got a cheerleader uniform and played the role of the co-ed failing my college class. She came to me looking for a chance to earn extra credit and left my “office” with a well-fucked ass.
4. Have you ever been hurt so badly in a past relationship, that it has affected you for the rest of your life?
No, fortunately I haven’t.
5. What message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?
6. How big is your dick?
Big enough, but not too big. Or so I’ve been told
Bonus: I would like to know, do you have Formspring on your blog? Why or why not?
Like the NY Times quote above said…
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
1. Do you have a set of dishes that are used for special occassions (e.g. china)? Yes or no. If yes, how often do you use the special dishes?
a. any day because every day is special
b. once a week
c. only for holidays and celebration
d. never, it is displayed in a china cabinet or collecting dust in a box in the attic
We have a set of winter-themed dishes that comes out around Thanksgiving and use all through the winter. We also have a set of fine china we inherited from one of Veronica’s grandparents, it’s butt-ugly and stored in boxes in the basement. I am NOT moving it again!
2. Do have clothes that you never wear because you are saving them for a special occasion? What is that item of clothing? What would be the appropriate occasion?
Not because I’m saving them, but I rarely have occasion to wear a suit, I own 2.
3. If you suddenly became very wealthy, which servants would you employ?
a. cleaning service
b. housekeeper
c. cook
d. valet/maid/lady-in-waiting
e. chauffeur
f. dog-walker
g. other
We already have a cleaning service (but no, we are NOT very wealthy!) that comes once a month, I bet Veronica said she would just increase the frequency of their visits. None of the others interest me.
4. If you were wealthy, how many homes would you own? Where? (locations–mountains, tropical places for the winter, foreign country/city)
I think just one nice home in a warmer environment than New England would be fine, say San Diego maybe? Two homes seems overly indulgent to me, unless I was stupid-rich. Maybe a vacation place out in the Rockies somewhere if I really had the cash.
5. If you were going to take on a really expensive hobby, which of these would it be?
a. buy an airplane
b. buy a yacht
c. buy a small winery
d. raise exotic animals
None of the above, I would combine 2 things- travel for leisure and photography. I’d upgrade my Nikon D90 to a D700 or D3s and get pro-quality lenses to go with it, then I’d hit the road, or the air. The Grand Canyon, Rome, London, The Great Barrier Reef, an African safari, Hawaii, and on and on and on, there are so many places around the world I would love to see and photograph.
Yeah, that could get expensive!
6. What kind of car would you buy if you had an unlimited budget?
a. expensive sports car
b. luxury car
c. monster truck
d. expensive hybrid or electric car
e. cheap car (I’d be too nervous driving an expensive car).
f. something for the chauffeur to drive me around in
Well if my budget was unlimited, I’d have 2 cars! A nice luxury car that still performs, like a high-end BMW for everyday driving, and a sports car for fun.
Oh, I know! I’d visit Chip Foose or another of the high-end classic car restoration guys and have them build me a custom muscle car, 1960s styling on the outside, modern engineering under the hood.
Bonus: Currently, what is your favorite luxury item or decadent thing that you do?
Decadent, besides fucking multiple women besides my wife?
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your blog, answer the questions there, then leave a comment on the tmituesdayblog so we’ll all know where to read your responses!
